Monday, May 05, 2008


I'm not sure when it became cool to trash on boys and men here in the States. I know it's been a long time, but I'm curious about the origins of the tradition. I've pretty much had it with that whole thing. One of Sluggie's friends sent her a YouTube clip from some kid show (a Nick show I think) and it was (from the sounds of it) 2 boys talking (or reading?) about why boys are not stupid. But of course they were being very stupid and disproving their own point. I made her turn it off. Grrrr! You don't see people getting away with calling girls and women stupid, but make it a boy or a man and ha ha ha, there's mirth all around.

I know that boys face a lot of prejudice in school these days, and I'm so glad that Fishy isn't being hampered by that. I'm also grateful that there's no one to pressure me to put him on meds just for acting like a boy so that he can become a nice, quiescent little zombie instead.

That's my deepish thought for the day. Now for something fluffy.


Why is it that it's so freakin' hard to find a bra without a life of its own these days? Seriously. Go to any bra section in any store, and see how many bras are living complete little lives with their own phantom boobies right there on the rack. I want bras that do NOT have their own personality -- bras that to NOT ask my boobies to assume their identity. (--tity. ha.) Bras that do not jut out past my boobies and belittle them for not filling the cup. And also bras that do not mould my boobies into weird pyramids in some sort of Egyptian homage sort of thing. Even the wee tiny little A cups have minds of their own. What's up with that?

Oh and by the way, WTF was that terrifying monstrosity next to the strapless bras? I couldn't find a pic online, but suffice it to say that it would have made a nice hump-cozy for a Bactrian camel. If you want to see for yourself, I think you're out of luck, but you might enjoy a Google search for "gigantic strapless bra" just to see the weird crap it pulls up, like Johnny Depp, groomsmen's neckties, strollers, and ice cream drumsticks. Or you can go look at the boobie bags made by Faveo.

We got to play kick the bottle at TKD tonight. (an empty little water bottle suspended from the ceiling) It was great fun, but both my buns need a massage now. Or maybe I just need a "Buttocks Bra."


Michael C said...

I wish I had more to say here about this, but alas I do not. However, why is it when walking past the 'girl under clothes stuff' at Target, I keep my head down and don't make contact with anyone??

Claire said...

Grrr...I hate the way boys are being medicated and feminized! Here in cali, the focus at school is testing, testing and oh yeah more fucking testing. I could rant on about this for about a month. So I'm gonna stop now.
And about those bras... I am also amazed, stunned and horrified at the large percentage of women in my little city sporting a giant set of fake hoots. Weird.

Sicilian Mama said...

OMG. I am so glad that you wrote this. When my little brother was in elementary school, they tried telling my mother that he needed to be medicated to help him "focus" (this was before ADD became a really popular diagnosis). Um, what? He was 6 years old! What does he need to focus on besides being a little boy? Mom was not a happy camper when they suggested that.

And kind of on the same subject (b/c it involves man-bashing) of the biggest things that bother me here at work are how because some of these women have husbands who act like that stereotypical male (where they get home from work, crack open a brewsky and sit in front of the TV for the next five hours and leave everything for the wife) that all husbands act that way. Now that I'm pregnant, my co-worker is saying, "just wait until 3 in the morning when the baby is crying and you can barely move but he refuses to get up and makes you do it" and shit like that. I don't know how many times I have to tell her that my husband isn't like hers (or any of the other farm wives here at work). And when I tell her these things, she looks at me as if I'm making shit up! But seriously! My husband isn't like that! And I'm tired of people assuming that he is.

And like claire, I could rant on this forever, so I will stop for now and just say this: I hate bras. A lot.

Logophile said...

Ok, the boy bashing? Yah, bugs me A LOT. NOT ok, girl bashing is not ok, boy bashing is not ok, bashing in general is not ok. Good grief. Very glad my two little men are not experiencing some of the psychological horrors of the industrialized educational process.
As for the bras, you know what?
Victoria's Secret VS Cotton, unlined demi...I know you have to brave the rest of the nonsense but tooootally worth it for those bras. And if you wait for the semi-annual sale there are even way cheap.

Nancy said...
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egan said...

Dare you test me?

Candace said...

Michael - I bet you do have more to say, and I'd love to hear it.

OK I have a challenge for you. Next time you go to Tarzhay, make eye contact with anone in the bra section. Anyone. Come on. You know it would be greatblog fodder! :)

Claire - I almost launched into a rant on the feminisation of boys as well. Argh.

Fake boobies scare me.

Armie - Your mom is a smart woman! And can't believe how overused the ADD/ADHD label is these das. Oh and autism. A mom I know at TKD was just informed by her doc that all her kids are autistic, as well as herself! Um. Yeah. I teach two of them and if they're autistic, then I guess we all are.

Logo - Do you think we could start a grassroots movement? Moms Against Boy Bashing? Youngish Urbanistic Caretaking Kin For Outlawing Unfemale Slander (we'd be the Yuck Fous ^_^)

Thanks for the bra tip! I'll check it out. I like demis, too. :)

Egan - 4 minutes into your scheduled break. You can't fool me.

radioactive girl said...

Ok, I have lots to say about the man bashing too, but it looks like everyone has it covered and we are all like minded here. I especially hate the commercials that make men seem like they are stupid. I can't think of an example right now, but when they come on my husband knows to mute or change the channel because he knows it will start a rant from me about how if that was about women, or black people, or any other group of anyone it would not be ok so why is it ok to make men seem stupid. Blech!

About bras. I don't know if you breastfed, or if my problem is unique to me after breastfeeding or not, but since being done breastfeeding 4 kids, I need a little bit of padding or else I would always look cold (make sense? TMI?) I can't seem to find a bra that is small enough for me (again, TMI?) and also has just a little bit of padding to cover that. Maybe we should go into business together?

Slade said...

ok so I'm laughing my buttocks off...I guess I can't wear one of those butt bras because I laugh too much. hehe

Bras and jeans! I'm with you...I wish they didn't have a personality of their own!

Candace said...

Tori - Ha! Yes indeed! I have the same issue with the permanent "cold" look due to yrs of breastfeeding. ^_^ But I don't care anymore if they show because I'm tired of cups that don't fit my boobs making a weird shape under my shirt. I think that's far less attractive, LOL! I think I have weird in-between size boobs. I saw a brand with in-between sizes, but they still looked either too big or too small AND they had a weird triangular shape. :-P

I figure if they sell things to put in your bra to simulate the condition mine seem to be permanently stuck in, then I can deal with them showing in lieu of having flappy cups. ^_^

Slade - Maybe they make a butt enhancing bra for when you laugh yours off! ^_^

Oh DON"T get me started on jeans. Mine are all busted up and I have to get new ones and I SOOOO don't want to, so I'm just wearing busted up jeans.

Michael C said...

Crap, I finally swing by 2 days in a row and you haven't posted yet ;-)

Candace said...

LOL! That's how it always works! ^_^

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

You don't see people getting away with calling girls and women stupid, but make it a boy or a man and ha ha ha, there's mirth all around

While I don't condone gender bashing either way, one could make the argument that there isn't a lot of black-bashing anymore (or it's rare), yet it's okay to make fun of white people. Why? Because black people are still discriminated against, and white people generally aren't. I think men-bashing is a manifestation of women trying to assert themselves. It comes off as a joke, but I think the underlying reason is that we're trying to knock men down a I said, I don't condone it, but I can understand it anyway.

The end :)

Candace said...

Kitkat - I think you're probably right, but it's hard for me to see how two wrongs could make a right. You'd think the ones who were on the downside of things might realise how bad it is to do to someone else. But I suppose that human nature is to sink to the lowest common denominator. Just watch a roomful of kids to see a demo. The good ones don't influence the bad ones. It's always the other way around. Too bad we can't seem to rise above any of that.

egan said...

Now that I finally had time to read your post, I'm curious about this. Are there videos making fun of dumb boys? I've seen those t-shirts that say "boys are dumb, throw rocks at them". Those deeply offended me because they did nothing other than perpetuate a stereotype. Your kids are wonderful.

Candace said...

It was part of a kid's show - probably from Nickelodeon.

radioactive girl said...

Back to the boys are dumb daughter has gotten birthday presents of those kind of shirts Egan is talking about. I always confiscate them because I don't want my kids walking around wearing things that I disagree with. But then I feel like a great big meanie because "everyone else" gets to wear them. Obviously we talk about it and the kids understand my thoughts, but I am trying to figure out at what point do I let THEM decide (after talking it over) what message they wish to send. Because I believe in letting them be their own people as long as they are clear on what they are portraying to others, you know? My son has long hair because it is on his body and who am I to tell him what to do with it, so I'm not sure at what point the message shirts would be something I have to let go of. Parenting is hard work!

And seriously? People buy those fake nipple things? Because I have been trying to figure out how to make mine NOT show ever since I stopped breastfeeding. You know what else I just noticed? Because my boobs are so small and my stomach so muscular, when I turn sideways I look sort of pregnant. Does that mean I get to wear those comfy maternity jeans again? (kidding, and no I'm not sure what is wrong with me this morning!)