Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Is That a Dagger or a Crucifix I See?

Have you ever looked for something that seemed like it should be just around the corner, but you can't seem to find it? Or maybe you've looked for something, but been a little bit leery of what you might find when it does reveal itself. Or maybe you can picture where something ought to be, but then, as soon as you get to that place, your mind jumps ahead, and then you're picturing it somewhere else. I hate it when that happens.

But now it's time for more of - LOOK! A chicken!

The biggest taddies are growing legs now. They have little tiny froggy knees and toes and everything. Very cute. Too bad it didn't show up so great in the pics.

We gave Summer Pudding a try. Not bad! I think I'd prefer it with ladyfingers or something rather than bread, though.

And Mollusc and Sluggie found what I think is a
polyphemus moth. At first I thought it was a cecropia moth, but now I'm feeling a bit sheepish ;-) about that because we raised 2 cecropias a few years ago, and I should have remembered how they look. :-P

I'm writing again. This is good. Blogging suffers as a natural result, so please don't be offended if my visits to your blogs have become more sporadic. I still read it all, but I kind of go in spurts now. (Now, now,tsk tsk!!)

Thanks to Mr. Gabriel (aka Archangel?) for the inspiration. And the lyrics.

We wanted the union
Oh, the union of the woman,
The woman and the man . . .

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Bunch of Freakin' Liars and a Test

My sis sent me this link. Storm pictures

Nuh-uh. I know for a fact that that last one is from the
Stoughton, WI tornado. Look eerily familiar? Pretty freaking cool, though. Well, since it isn't here, that is. I wonder if ANY of them are from the Canadian one. :-P Stoughton is actually really close to my in-laws', so we saw some of the carnage from that one when we passed through on the way to see them last summer.

Speaking of seeing things (or not,) my son is colour deficient. I learned this about a year ago at the eye doc's. He never had trouble with colour books, crayons or anything like that. Ironically, it was the Prawn who I thought might be colour blind when she took longer than all the others to learn her colours. Wanna see how my son sees the world? Actually, I suspect that there are many, many variations on how colour deficient people see the world. In the second one down, he doesn't really see much difference (if any) between the normal and protanope pics. If you go to the third one down, he can see red dots in the normal one, but those same dots in the protanope version are "brown." (I think he only sees the darkest red dots as red - the others are brown or something.) And, yes, he sees a 2 here. (very bottom one) The only time this has ever manifested in real life is when playing Castle Keep. And then, only because his sister was carping at him that something was green, not brown. Yes, my X chromosome contribution to my baby boy was deficient. At least 2 other guys we know are colour deficient. Are you? No lying now!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Kiss That Blog

I've been busy. Mostly I was reading or out trying to do some garden stuff. Yesterday, every time I tried to get out to plant it would start raining. Wednesday was a day of gorgeous thunderstorms - you know the kind - ominous skies, sporadic distant rumbling, every now and then the rain just teeming down, and, occassionally, hail. I love a good thunderstorm. Especially at bedtime, but all day is fine, too. I love the ones that are so close that your entire world is consumed in a brilliant flash of light that's followed almost immediately by a bone-rattling, eardrum-smashing CRACK! And the ones where the sky is deep purple and you can see occasional forks of white lightning splintering through the sky, and the rumbling roars on and on. But alas, those have moved on now. Fortunately, they left some cooler weather in their wake.

OK, I'm finally posting the picture of my grossly misshapen foot from Monday.

So, after icing it all evening

It looked like this:

Yucky, huh? Yeah, that lump should NOT be there on top. :-P

Fortunately, by morning it was much better. My knee looks much worse than it did before. I was perfect for the pool - big purple knee, big purple bruise on forearm (hey, at least I blocked!) and a bruise from running into the corner of a cabinet on my upper arm. MMmmm. I look MAHvelous! ;-)

I finished that book (it was riveting) and now must write the review. And get back to writing more. So between that and living outside more, I'm not sure how much blogging I'll be doing. I have a hunch it won't be daily.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Little Lies

This is not the one that hurt. Not until my foot started feeling better, anyway. :-P

I've come up with a way to take over the world with. . . soap??? 10 points if you know what movie we watched tonight. 30 more points if you admit it. ;-)

So tell me, what did you think of Pirates of the Caribbean? (No, that's not the movie we watched tonight.) I saw it on DVD way after all the hype and, while it was OK, I just didn't get all orgasmic about it like the rest of the world seemed to. What did I miss? Do I need to see it again? Without SIL's magical heavy blanket and kiss-of-death snuggly dog? (Either of these evil tools of the devil can send you to dreamland effortlessly. In concert, they could take over the entire world while it slept.)

The kids and I have been listening to the audiobook of
A House Called Awful End, by Philip Ardagh. Mr. Ardagh is one of those brilliant writers who will get you nodding and chuckling and laughing out loud. Once you're familiar with his style, you'll see something coming and laugh all the harder for it when it appears, and then out of nowhere, he'll blindside you with something even better that you never would have imagined. Even if you haven't got kids, his books are definitely worth checking out. Tell yourself that you're previewing them for that child of your friend's or your niece or nephew if you must. I see they are making a movie of it, and like the Lemony Snicket movie, I can't imagine it will be anywhere near as entertaining as the book.

This week is "Purge Week" at our house. Next week is "Binge Week" LOL! No, not really. This week we're taking a break from schooly stuff (as far as the kids know - heh heh - they don't realise that a lot of the stuff I read to them and the things we do are actually educational) to purge stuff. Not moving for 3 whole years has been nice, but it has also resulted in an unsightly buildup. Call in the "Crelm" car! The not-white car represents another leading brand. And just look at that "Crelm" car go! I really need to clear some shelf space for all these new books, too.

I opened up the latest UW-Alum mag to find an article featuring my mom's cousin. He's not kidding when he says he was the black sheep of the family. When I was in 5th grade, a girl in my class (not knowing the relation) proudly exclaimed to our teacher how her mother had "called that man up and told him he was a sinner!" And, yes, some church members still think he's the Anti-Christ. I have to say that for the Anti-Christ he's a swell and fun-loving guy. :-) Note to all authors: if you don't want to be labeled the Anti-Christ by your church, DO NOT write a book mentioning how your church's prophetess was a plagarist who got her writings not from visions sent from God, but from books with publication dates earlier than her own and with the plagarized passages and illustrations dog-eared and highlighted (all of which were found at her estate.) :-P

As an interesting aside, this cousin has a very bad name for answering the phone. "Hello, Ron Numbers" "Oh, I'm so sorry." *click* So if you ever call him up, don't be surprised to hear you've reached "Nebuchadnezzar's Candle Palace" or whatever strikes his fancy that day.

My dad went through a severe crisis of faith after that little discovery. (the plagarism thing, not the phone-answering thing) If you found out that the church had been lying to you for your whole life about one thing, then why not another? Why not all of it? My dad got over it, eventually. I don't think my cousin ever has. Interestingly enough, an old family friend from Hong Kong (and from the same church) contacted the family not long ago and said that he finally understood some of what my dad had been so upset about. He hadn't really gotten the full impact, I guess, from what my dad had told him, but he ended up at the "prophetess's" estate while doing research for a book of his own about missionaries, and came across a lot of things that really turned his world upside-down. Sadly, my dad was already gone by then, so they they didn't get to talk it over.

Hope you enjoyed this little episode of - Holy Dinah! Is that a Whopper I see before me? (Or just a little White lie?)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

In Which I Save a Life and Injure Myself (independently)

I saved a life on Saturday. I looked out the kitchen window to see Hoover, the chipmunk who visits our deck (i.e. raids the birdfeeder) , swimming for his life in the splash pool (where he had obviously fallen from said birdfeeder.) He was out of his depth and couldn't get out, so I ran out and, after a couple of failed attempts wherein he leapt frantically off the toy I was using as a scoop and flung himself into the pool again, managed to fish him out. The ingrate ran off with nary a word of thanks, but I've seen him back again several times since then, so obviously he survived. (I was a little worried about pneumonia due to experience at the rat farm.)

In an example of karma totally falling down on the job, tonight I hurt myself "reeeeeel guuuuud" (say it like John Cleese in A Fish Called Wanda) at TKD. We were doing 3-step sparring and I did a double on my opponent, but caught an elbow in the top of the foot/ankle area. I have a pic, but it hurts too much to walk (or hobble) over to the other computer to post it. Trader Joe's's (??) frozen peas are my buddies tonight. And arnica. The good news is that it should be a lot better by morning, going by past experience.

I got my first book to review today. Until now, I've been the kiss of death and the publishers have failed to send out every one for which I've signed up. But today, in a break from tradition, I got a package containing The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards. Thomas Covenant has gone on hold, which is kind of a shame since he's at the Sandhold right now and has met the Kemper with his "infant son" on his back. (Anyone reminded of Voldemort?) Well, I say "met" but Mr. C is actually catatonic right now. Anyway, so far the new book's riveting and I really appreciate Miss Edwards's restraining herself in the thesaurus department.

Today's confession: I love Target brand (Market Pantry) fruit snacks. I ate 6 pouches of them tonight and I'd like to eat more.

Confession #2: I have parethesisitis. (no brainer!)


^ It's clickable.

I would have posted sooner but was enduring a battery of rather startling and inconvenient events, which, I believe have been recorded by a certain author. I was ravished by Bulgurs, wounded in the thigh and disembowled, upon which I died. Later, it turned out that I hadn't actually died and I escaped, only to be (uncharacteristically) hung at an auto-da-fe. Fortunately, the surgeon who bought my corpse for medical study realised I was still alive when his critical incision drew a yell from my not-dead lips. He placed me in the care of a Jesuit priest, who ravished me again and sold me to an Israelite, who ravished me and sold me to a Dutch pirate, who ravished me and lost me when his ship sank. Fortunately, I grabbed a giant red sheep that was swimming past and was carried to the relative safety of the shore, where I was captured by a Sultan and placed in his harem. When the Russian army appeared and tried to starve out the Sultan's guards, the guards cut off the left buttocks of all of us harem girls to eat. Shortly thereafter, reinforcement Russians destroyed our fortress. I won't bore you with the rest of the details, but suffice it to say that I had sufficient reason to be tardy in my posting.

How ironic is it that my copy of Candide is a translation by John Butt? :-)

OK, so first off, I want to say Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. I hope you have a great day! :-)

Sluggie's tooth looks as good as new. The dentist built it up with white composite stuff. Who knew that a dentist also had to be a sculptor? I learn something new every day.

Gordy tested for senior brown belt yesterday. He did great and also sat quietly while he waited his turn to answer Qs. (That's pretty hard for 6-year-old boys.)

He got everything right except for "What is the at school routine?" That one's only on the wall, not in the book, and we really need to copy it down.

As it was, he replied that he doesn't go to school (of which the Master is well aware, LOL!) and that "all I have to do is my math" LOL! He did answer "Do you obey the bus driver's instructions?" with "Yes, and that's my parents." :-)

He knew some of the vocab that's not in the book, too. Here he is breaking his board with an axe kick.

During the test, The Prawn busied herself by becoming a meringue. (There's an a/c vent there.)

The raccoons are increasing in a seemingly exponential fashion. Last night there were babies galore. Tiny babies came first. The rice wasn't their first choice, so I went out and moved it off the top of the bowl so they could get to the good stuff. They were really brave and stayed there while I did so. Of course the kids had to get out there, too. The one in the bowl kept looking sideways at Mollusc while he ate, LOL!

You can tell what a baby this one is by the loooooong-looking legs. His bod isn't fat enough yet to conceal his legs.

I suppose in about 3 more years we'll have HUNDREDS of raccys.

The kids are watching Anastasia, starring
Kate, Jake , Beast, and Dr. Brown. Oh, and Agador Spartacus. Very entertaining. :-)

Yesterday was the last day of the library book sale, which means only one thing: A WHOLE BAG OF BOOKS FOR A BUCK, BABY!!!!! Muahahahahahahaha!!!! :-) Oh yeah. I scored quite a few of Frank Herbert's not-Dune books, several Piers Anthonys, a couple of Terry Brookses and quite a few other goodies. My reading pile grows and grows.

Today I harvested a bunch of these:

Please excuse me if my thoughts flit here and there.

I've probably had too much sugar today.

(chocolate cake mix combined with a stick of butter, pressed into the pan, topped with 1c choc chips, 1 c white chips, 2 c coconut and a can of sweetened condensed milk mixed with another 1/2 c of nuked choc ships, baked at 350 for 18 mins)

Our tadpoles still live. They eat boiled lettuce.

My time spent learning how to repair multi-million dollar warplanes paid off yesterday when I was able to fix the kids' cash register ( the drawer would no longer open.) These are no doubt manufactured by 5-year-old children in China. But hey, I did it!

(note drawer which now opens when the button is pressed)
I left the little hands in the upper pic because those are one of the 2 pairs that kept trying to help me, causing the whole operation to be a lot more difficult than fixing an F-16. :-/

Some might say that with all the time I've taken off from blogging there must be more to write about. And that's true enough, but I must go and work in the garden. ;-)

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Dirty Picture HNT etcetera

Feast your eyes, LOL!

Dirt on my knee from gardening, and a random sparring bruise, but with kind of a festive, red-white-and-blue theme.

It's raccoon-o-rama out there tonight. First up: 3 *eensie-weensie, teensie-tiny* babies tonight. (was that sickening enough for you?) They are sooooooooo stinking cute it almost hurts to look at them. Of course my pics are sucky at showing perspective, but oh well. I was able to sneak the door open for a change to get slightly better pics.

The Glowing Eyes of Doom (the last thing a hapless Cheeto™ sees.) Silly camera thought I was trying to take a picture of the deck rail. Who wants a picture of a deck rail? Bloody camera.

(Steve?) tiptoeing to the food bowl:

And (RJ?) snacking under the picnic table:

These guys' bodies are about 7" long (not including their tails.) I can't do anything near justice to the cuteness factor. There are 3 of them, and they came without their mama, which just doesn't seem to happen at this age and is probably a bad sign as far as mama is concerned, but a good sign that they know where to find food.

Of course, the good part is that they didn't have to fight their mama for the food. Cheeto grabbed an entire Cheeto™ bag from Mollusc's hand and was trying to keep it away from her kids. (Bad Mommy!) She absconded with it to the top of the stairs, but they chased her down and got some anyway. I would never do that - like with chocolate or anything *unconvincing look of innnocence* ;-)

Not a lot of flowery words this time.

Jimmy's pushing up the daisies (or violas) rather nicely.

Guess what?


That's what!

But not a toad in sight:

I suppose the yard will be peppered

with toadies in a week or so.

We had a Korean feast after the last homeschool TKD class of the year today. YUMMMM!!!! Everyone brought a few dishes and we gorged ourselves silly. I got to take home a bunch of leftovers. Mollusc really liked the
soy sauce boiled eggs.

Class and sparring were very hard work tonight, so we came home exhausted and wringing wet. The cold Korean leftovers went down beautifully. :-)

Today we registered for the summer reading program at the OTHER library. (The tiny little one we don't have to pay to use that's a lot farther away, :-P ) Twice the fun, I say! A friend of ours at TKD registered just so he could get his free Caribou Coffee certificate -- no plans to read *snort* (sorry to promote The Enemy, Egan, but Starbucks didn't ante up, LOL!) Another friend and I were giving him a hard time about that, and then one of them came up with the brilliant idea of library-hopping -- registering at as many libraries as possible for all the different freebies. That's when we decided that our excitement over the prospect of this ill-gotten booty did, indeed, qualify us as geeks. But you already knew that and have photographic proof. (Har, "booty!" I crack myself up!!)

There was also a library sale going on. WOO HOO!! I got a copy of Candide for a quarter, Dubliners (I have a like/hate relationship with Joyce - and no, that's not my college roommate - 50 points if you get that reference) also for a quarter, some piano music books and some other stuff. Sluggie chose a giant book about China - mostly photos) for 50 cents. Yep, all paperbacks are a quarter and all hardbacks are 50 cents. Can't complain about prices like that. So back we go tomorrow when we have time to dig through the boxes so I can look for Terry Pratchett (or his books.)

I did win that set of cocktail swords and have paid for them, so pics will be forthcoming - maybe some action photos, too. (Run, Barbie, RUNNNN!)

Sluggie goes to get her broken tooth fixed tomorrow. Did I mention that she broke a tooth? Hmmm, maybe not. It happened Monday night. Tooth meets folding chair. Chair: 1 Tooth: nil It's kind of fanggy now. I should take a picture.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006


More falling down on the blogging job, I know. Monday I didn't feel too great, but managed to resurrect myself for class. Today is the sleepy part of the sickness. Everyone who's had this says you're just tired. True.

But also, there's a bit of Gorgeous Weather Syndrome going on. Who can stay in and write when it's this nice out? Not me. It's sunny and warm with random cool zephyrs. Ahhhh. :-) And as I've discovered, my laptop is kinda hard to see outside in the afternoon. Phooey. So I've been digging in the dirt some more, watching a wren catch moths and beetles, watching a baby squirrel who was knocking on the window by the front door today (and leaving him a pile of Wheat Thins), watching the birds - including a very sassy
red-winged blackbird who throws seeds out of the feeder by the beakful just so he can get a peanut - while reading to the kids on the deck (more Odyssey books and Ulysses Moore) and stuff of that nature. I think that's enough of a run-on sentence for today.

I also have been doing some online shopping for GuTtEr MuNKi's birthday. June is hella crazy for us. (That's the first time I've ever used the word "hella." Does it work for me?) There's both my b-day and GuTTer MuNKi's, our anniversary and Father's Day. Holy crap! Of course, when I finally sat down to online shop, what did I do? Yes, that's right. I went to eBay and bid on a set of Toledo steel sword-shaped cocktail picks that are exactly like a set we had when I was a kid. Did we have cocktails back then? We did not. Was booze in any form taboo thanks to our religion? It was. Did someone from that same religion gift us those picks? She did. Did she have a single clue what they were for? I doubt it. Did I? Not until a wave of nostalgia caused me to look them up. I can't show a pic, because the only set I can find like that is the ebay set I bid on and eventually that link will expire, and I hate trolling through blogs with expired links. So if I get them, you'll get to see them. Or if you are interested enough to Google them before the auction ends, I guess.

What (the hell) are you going to do with eight 5" swords? you ask. Funny you should ask, because I was asking myself the same thing. But they were one of my favourite useless kitchen adornments when I was a wee kiddie, and I *want* them. (Our set was lost in the move back to the States eons ago.) Plus, the more I think about this, the more uses I can come up with for them, such as:

Barbie swords! (Barbie Pirates of the Caribbean!)

Food stabbers (I need to come up with creative stabbable foods now)

OK, well, that's all I got so far. Maybe you can help me out on that front. :-P

And then I searched for "Terry Pratchett lot" and nearly fainted from desire when I found a 32 book Discworld set. Alas, they are $99.00 plus $10.00 shipping. Not what I need to be buying just now. Unless I just do it and try to convince GuTTer MuNKi that that's what he really wanted for his birthday. :-/

So after that, I did actually get around to ordering the mUNki's stuff. And then, suddenly, even though it was nearing 1 am, I decided to blog. Go figure.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Oh LOOK! A Chicken!

Yes, it's another disjointed post, brought to you by -- whoa! What is THAT on the wall??

Last night John and I went to see X-Men III, which we both enjoyed a lot (other than my favourite guy exploding.) It's a good one to see in the theatre with the big screen/big sound etc. Somehow, even though Hugh Jackman's shirt vanished and a lot of his skin was - er, disintegrating? disapparating? dissolving? - his pants managed to remain unscathed in all the areas that matter, so 2 tenths of a point deduction for that. ;-) It was a pretty successful action movie night for us, because later, at home, we watched Arahan, which was both funny and entertaining.

I'm going to attempt to make ice cream soon. Tonight maybe? Stay tuned for pictures of the inevitable disaster. (Remember when I made marshmallows?)

On Friday we got tadpoles from a friend. Her parents have a pool and every year when they go to take the cover off for the summer, it's full of tadpoles. So she scooped up a whole bunch and has been distributing them to interested parties. We took 10 and so far they're all still alive!! We also ended up with 2 little boatmen and 2 yet-to-be-identified - ah things. They're clear, about 3/4" long, straight, with a nose reminiscent of a pipefish's and you can see black eye dots and what I guess are a couple of little organs inside them. I can't see any legs anywhere. Any help?

Peter asked me some Qs, so here are my answers. Questions I'm asking y'all will follow.

If you could be any character, in the history of comics, which character would you be?

Sadly, I'm a geek who doesn't know much about comics. Isn't that kind of tragic? I think so. I used to pretend I was Wonder Woman when I was a kid (not all the time, mind you) and she's pretty cool. And Isis, too. (Was she in comics at all?) But I think Lara Croft would be more fun, and since she is apparently also a comic book character, I choose her. :-)

What is your favorite sci-fi movie?

You mean besides Star Wars? Well, I like the Star Treks for the most part. And I really like Galaxy Quest, though I haven't seen it in ages *makes note to rent it or just buy it ASAP*

Who invented the internet?

Me! I was working at CERN and I thought wouldn't it be nice if I could order my library books through the computer and never have to leave the lab?? So I developed this new alter ego and changed my gender and name and was reborn 14 years earlier (minus 4 days) and voila! And you're welcome. ;-)

And why did they leave it on all the time?

The switch is in my basement, but I can never remember to turn it off. Oops. I think I took a picture of the wrong switch.

What cartoon characters do your kids best represent?

Penfold (brainy and careful), Danger Mouse (adventurous and acrobatic), Inspector Gadget (always coming up with outrageous inventions) , and Stitch (destroys things when you're not looking but cute enough to get away with it.) Note, too, that all of these characters are slightly insane.

And I mean in the sense of super-power ability.

Oh. Whoops. OK, um. . . Hey!! I found my Killers CD!!! WOO HOO!!!!

Is your sister still single?

Sadly for all but one of mankind (and herself), the answer to that Q is "only technically." :-)

And now the part where I get to ask questions!! If you're unsure of what I mean with any of these, decide on your own interpretation and answer however you like. (Oooh, it's like a literary Rorschach!)

Logo, here are your questions:

1) When did you decide to homeschool your kids and do you remember what got you started thinking about it?

2) What is your favourite "classic" book?

3) If you could only choose 1 book - OK that's just silly. What book have you read the most times?

4) What flavour of tea are you?

5) Gravity: yes or no?

Trundling Grunt, these are your questions:

1) In a (nearly) perfect world, who or what would your Avenging Unicorn impale?

2) Mexican or Indian?

3) And the winner of the best herb contest is. . .?

4) What do you miss the most?

5) What made you finally start blogging (instead of hiding all your brilliant witticisms in other people's comments sections) and when you get your first book published can I have a signed copy?

Peter these are your Qs:

1) Has PETA hassled you about the lamb in the trunk? (Yes, I finally saw It's Not Easy Being Greek and loved it. :-) )

2) Boba or Jango?

3) What is or would be your superpower?

4) There is a (hot) woman in your living room. She flings her glass, or possibly a plate (don't hit me!) on the floor and shouts "Oppa!!!!!!!" Explain.

**edit - OK after posting this, I watched Date Movie with GuTter MuNKi and one of the first things that happens is that the girl walks into the Greek restaurant in which she works and someone flings a plate (which hits her in the head) and the entire restaurant yells, "OPPA!!!!" WTH?!?! That's freaky!**


a)Pete, Peter, Panagiotis, Poly, Euphegenia, or????

b) and now please answer this question as your alter ego.

Jack, these are your questions:

1) Bauer: yes, no, or?

2) What is your favourite single-celled creature? (I laughed my @$$ off at your pictionary post!)

3) If you could be a character from a book for 1 week, who would you be and why?

4) X-ray vision or flying?

5) World Cup? Explain.

Egan, Logo has dibs on you, so I imagine your Qs will be appearing on her blog. :-)

Slarti, these are your Qs:

1) Slartibartfast or Zaphod Beeblebrox? Explain.

2) What is your very, very, very favourite thing to draw?

3)This world is about to be blown up by a secret organisation. You have one question you can ask. Would you request chocolate? What for? Do you believe in double chocolate?

4) Did you find it?

5) Fur or feathers?

Friday, June 09, 2006

In Which I am Interviewed by a Journalist

So yeah, this is it. My first interview in -- ever. Pretty cool huh? The atmosphere is very not tense. Niel (the journalist) is still smoking his pipe and looking a bit green 'round the edges, so I feel compelled to bring out my pink bubble pipe to lighten the mood. The one with Hello Kitty on it. And the edible bubble juice. (sticky stuff, that!) And the questions begin.

1. Tell us what you would have said/purred to Douglas Adams if you had to have that awesome moment again.

Wow, that's a really hard question, because if I knew that, maybe I'd have been able to say it back then. I mean, what do you say to The Master? If I'd had my wits about me, I suppose I would've fallen at his feet (no doubt bonking my head on the table in the process) and licked his shoes. At the very least, this time around I would have the presence of mind to thank him for all the laughs. And then I would say something utterly charming (in exactly the way that a Dalek doesn't) and hang there for just a moment (in exactly the way that bricks don't) and then glide gracefully away. (cuz if you know me, you know I'm all about charm and grace *snort* ) Or I might ask what his favourite Wodehouse book is, and then we'd get to talking about that, and get on famously and become great friends and I'd have him 'round to tea all the time (after learning how to make proper English tea) and we'd surf the
Profanisuarus together on the net.

What would YOU say?

(Niel is looking rather more green than before and defers his answer to the comments section)

2. Your Tae Kwon Do battlecry, if you please.

“AI!!!!!!!!!” which, with my specific intonation, is Korean for “You lily livered son of a pig-intestine, you will pay for that insouciance with the skin of your nether regions!!!” (It's a very efficient language.) Once, I accidentally used “Ai!!!, which is “here is being your friendly tea service, will you having some milk with it please?”

3. Why, oh why, do you not like poor Mr. Holden Caulfield?

(Niel sits back and blows a few smoke rings and I attempt to send bubbles through the middles. Gandalf fails to join us. Niel spies the bubble juice bottle with the somewhat garish “EDIBLE!!” claim on the label and suddenly lunges forward, snapping at one and startling me violently enough that I fall off of my chair. I climb back on - a bit shaken. Niel attempts to say something, but his teeth are stuck together.)

Well, really, what's there to like? It may not even be so much a question of disliking him as of not caring enough about him to have an opinion. The book has eaten a few hours of my life that I'll never get back. And for what? I got nothing out of this book. There's no character development, no obstacle to overcome, no growth. It's all just so bloody pointless. I find that irksome. And then I made the mistake of re-reading it years after high school, thinking I must have missed something the first time around. But no, I had been spot on, so that was another bunch of wasted hours. Sigh.

(Niel's teeth have come unstuck and he proceeds with great dignity.)
4. Your blog is pretty funny. I'm wondering, where do your humorist roots lie? And please pick between Woody Allen and Jerry Seinfeld!

Why thank you! That's very kind. :-) Hmmm. Choosing between those two, I'd say Adams and Wodehouse. Though Woody Allen is definitely not my type. Seinfeld cracks me up. His show was actually rather Wodehouse-y in the way that everything always came back around and knitted together at the end. Pretty much the opposite of Catcher in the Rye, in which that could never happen, because nothing was going anywhere in that story, so how could it come back around?

5. Do you party up?

I tend to party down, but I think that's primarily a latitudinal thing. If I were in Australia, I believe that I might well party up. Although I suspect that I would still end up on the floor either way. (Click on "Another Irish Drinking Song.")

Thanks for the Qs, Niel! You can take the bubble juice home with you. :-)

The first 5 who ask for them will get their own set of shiny new Qs to answer.

Tonight I watched Diary of a Mad Black Woman and enjoyed it very much. My "to see" list now includes a bunch of Tyler Perry films.

Nightfall brought the smallest raccoon babies yet to our deck. Twins. I think Egan is a mommy. :-) (Egaine?)

Has this been eclectic enough? Sometimes I think my posts could be ADHD poster fodder. Goodnight! :-)

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Geeky HNT and a Confession

T4lk Nerdy 2 Me, B4by*

Woo hoo! Look at me, all prepared-like and even EARLY for HNT! Did you notice my geeky tan? Yeah, I totally planned that just for this HNT. The price I pay for my art, as it were. ;-)

Today I signed up for the library summer reading program because I'm a geek I'll get a free book and because there may also be some cool prizes. The only prize I actually know about is the Grand Prize. Have you ever signed up for something hoping NOT to get the Grand Prize? The Grand Prize is a free one-hour massage at a local salon/spa. (OK, that's not really it.) Uh, yeah. Strangers touching my (partially clothed? unclothed??) body? I don't THINK so! Plus, I went there for a haircut once because GuTter MuNKi thought it would be a good experience for me. It was a nice place and all - very swanky - but mostly I just felt really out of place sitting there while the b!tch3s all snarked at each other about their coworker's boob job. But I want my free book, so I'm willing to risk it. Plus, I'm hoping that if I end up with it they won't put my name on the certificate and I can give it to someone else.

"Why are you so worried about getting the Grand Prize?" you ask. "I mean, like, what are the odds??" Well, they're good. Too good. Like 1 in 7 or something. It's a small library and hardly any other geeks adults sign up for the reading program. :-P But I want my free book!! It's so. . . free! Who can resist? Not me, in spite of the inherent danger. Besides, having a Grand Prize kind of implies that there are lesser prizes, doesn't it? I'm just hoping that they aren't things like "Free Entry into the XXXX Bar's Next
Wet T-Shirt Contest" or "Free Phrenological Interpretation" or "Free Freaky the Clown Appearance at Your Next Party" (I was gonna link to a clown picture there, but they all made me feel rather queasy.)

I signed the kids up for the kid program, too. They all get a free book as well. You know what that means? 5 free books! See how profitable it can be to have a "large" family? I should sign GuTter MuNKi up, too, come to think of it. But you know, the kids only have to read 10 hours by the end of July. That's not very much. Don't you think it should be more? What does it say about people's general expectations of children's reading when 10 hours in 2 months is considered a challenge? :-/

As usual, I was asked what grade the kids were in when we signed up. Had I known when we went that we'd be signing up, maybe I'd have had an answer prepared, but I didn't (squared.) I always feel like an idiot when that happens, but it happens so seldom that I never think to come up with something. My kids aren't in any specific grades, per se. We just do what interests and challenges them. Maybe next time I'll just throw out some random numbers. *shrugs*

There was another family at the library today who were most likely homeschoolers as well. Did I talk to them? I did not. Confession: to tell the truth, I'm a chicken about meeting new people. Usually. Yes, I'm shy. Can you believe that? Most people can't. I'm incredibly phone shy, too (otherwise I'd totally Skype you, Poly.) I can call my mom, my sis or John. Oh, and oddly enough, I'm able to chat with sis's SO with NO problems. That kinda shocked me. I have one friend I can call without any angst, but other than that - even friends I see and talk to all the time at TKD - I'm angst-riddled if I need to call someone for some reason. Am I calling at a bad time? Am I interrupting or bothering them? What the heck am I going to say? So I kinda rehearse it in my head, but I get a few variations going and then it all comes out too fast and all mixed up and, and -- *dies* If it's someone I know pretty well, once I get talking I'm usually OK. I dunno, most of my reasons are really quite stupid, but even though I know this, I'm still phone shy. :-P Yet I can chat people up in Gmail chat windows like nobody's business. "Why is that Captain Ron?" *shrugs* "No one knows!"

*this photo made possible by Fal oops, I mean Fal (who first linked me to J!nx) and GuTter MuNKi (who bought me the pants for my b-day) So if you liked it, you have them to thank. :-)

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Three Sisters and a Baby Squiddle

Sisters are important. They lean on each other, protect each other and nurture each other. We planted the Three Sisters in one of our gardens today. (Did you find the hidden link?) I don't know what I'd do without my sister, but the world may safer for the fact that there are only 2 of us. :-)

In other news, a baby squirrel was on the deck this morning. His feet and tail look ever so big on his little bod. :-)

Here's my innocent lamb, spots and all. The ones on her face don't show up so well in this pic, and bear in mind, of course that her back and legs are COVERED as well. Someone at TKD actually asked me if the spots were medicine - did she have measles or something? As IF! Like I would seriously contaminate everyone in the dojang by bringing a spot-riddled child. Humph!

And lastly, but not leastly, sigh, my laptop puked again. *weeps* This time I think I only lost the new children's book. Easy enough to redo, but still. Oh, and I'll have to suck in all my music again. :-( Oh well, my kiddos are watching SW Epi II and I'm going to, too. :-)

Monday, June 05, 2006

Seeing Red

You know, that tooth fairy is SO t3h suck!! Sigh. She forgot AGAIN! Can you believe it? It doesn't help that Mollusc has been losing teeth like someone from a trailer park in Lower Sandusky, but SHEESH! You'd think after that last fiasco the blasted fairy'd get her act together. And guess what? Mollusc lost ANOTHER FREAKING TOOTH today. O. M. G.

Boys - this next bit may be uncomfortable for you, so unless you have a daughter or 2, you may be happier skipping on to the next section. Gosh, come to think of it, I don't think any of my regulars have girls who have yet to reach menarche. OK, so this is just me talking to myself, I guess. And there are always the lurkers, LOL! Ooh and the Googlers! And some of you with no kids may someday be having girls. :-) Oh, FRANK! You have LOTS of girls! I'd love input from you and Cindy. Hey, maybe AM Girl could put together a gift basket for their catalogue! OK, so. . .

My poor girl Mollusc was feeling unwell today, and I actually thought I was going to be planning a Red Party way sooner than expected. Though really it isn't way sooner, I guess. There have been signs. Still, I was thinking the whole process took longer. First thing I said to myself when she told me her abdomen was feeling crampy was "I'm not ready for this!" I thought I'd have my act together, you know? I've been planning on planning for this since forever. But do I, in fact, have a plan? Only a vague one. I meant to have a menarche bracelet ready, a little "pamper yourself" basket, candles, a pretty journal, a ritual -- a plan!

As it turns out, I think this was a false alarm, but it was good because it's kicked me into getting prepared. Thing is, I'm not sure who would be comfortable attending a Red Party. Seems like most of the people I know IRL are pretty mainstream. Are you mainstream? Would you feel weird about being invited to something like this? (girls/women only would be invited) My crunchy friends are pretty much all online. If we still lived in Madison, I could have invited a couple of Amity mamas, but I don't anymore. So I'm considering talking to some TKD moms of similarly aged daughters to see if they'd be interested. Though it could still be a couple of years off. . . My sis will come out, I know that. So maybe it will just be the girls from our family. Maybe I could get one of the SILs to come. And my neice. Can't do it at MIL's house, unfortunately, cuz she'd no doubt think it was some kind of vooddo and hoodoo ceremony. Not that she's all churchy by any means - just a bit (read VERY) phobic about anything not mainstream, LOL!

Anyway, I've got some good links if any of you want to file them away and I'd love input/ideas. We have been planning a tradition of letting the girls choose to get their ears pierced at that point, too.


Today Freegan came to the deck and cleaned out the food bowl. He's hurt one of his front paws somehow, but I don't think it's anything too dreadful considering he's eating. And he's getting around fine on 3 legs for now. Also a little *wee* baby raccoon came on his own. I'm taking votes for names now. He was climbing all over and trilling - sooo cute!! Now's your chance to name a baby raccoon! No pics - he's a little skittish yet.

TKD was fun. TShsmom, guess what?? John's pull is healing like your dh's did. It's been 3 days and he was able to do class and sparring! He was a little worried, but things went well. Huzzah!

Oy, my face was beet red for about 15 mins after sparring and it felt like me ears were actually *glowing.* We worked pretty hard. :-) And my knee cooperated very nicely!!

I helped with Little Kid class as usual tonight and when I got home to pick up the rest of the family for John's and my class, Sluggie and the Prawn were sitting at the table COVERED with blue dots and looking a bit hangdog. Too bad I dinna think to snap a picture. I asked what happened and John said "I thought it would be better if they talked to you about this one." LOL! Cursed Crayola™ and their cursed stamper markers, may their factories be forever plagued by the smell of Limburger cheese. OK, it wasn't really a bad thing - I mean, they were just very, very spotty. But it's fun to make up curses, so. . .

Don't forget to submit names for the baby raccoon. And, hey, what's your favourite curse?

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Gardening and Geekdom

Rhododendron June 4, 2006

Today was a garden day. It was GORGEOUS outside. The yarrow is happy:

And the fairies are happy to have some paths and shelters:

We got the rhododendron bush (top) and these heliopsomethingorothers today. They're kinda camera shy:

By tomorrow, they should be turned around the right way. We're slowly overtaking the weedbeds with intentional plantings. :-)
Digging in the yard is always a bit of an archaeological experience. We've found brick halves, wire ties, pieces of plastic sheeting, pot shards, chunks of concrete, and scraps of siding. :-P Oh yeah, and Jimmy Hoffa. How could I forget? And all this junk is pretty deep down, too. I don't wonder so much anymore how civilizations can get buried so far under.
Last night, GuTter MuNKi and I watched "Never Been Kissed." Eh. It was enjoyable, but nothing stellar. We both noticed that yet again Hollywood has no clue what the geeks are really like in High School. They don't yearn to be accepted, or pine for the football star, LOL! They really just want to blend into the walls and have everyone except the other geeks ignore them so they don't have to deal with their petty tripe. They don't live in fear that no one will ask them to prom. In fact, it would be far more terrible to actually receive an invitation and then have to figure out what the hell you're supposed to wear and how you're supposed to act to avoid making a fool of yourself in public. The "hot" guys, while sometimes being decent eye candy, rarely have more than fluff in their heads and aren't worth the bother. All geeks know this. I don't remember the other movie we watched that was like this, but it was the same story. Whoever wrote the script thought that the geeks craved attention and acceptance from the popular kids. Someone needs to hire a geek advisor for these films. :-) There were some funny moments, though. Probably the best part was when the girl's brother went to prom as "Tom Cruise" from Risky Business - button-down shirt, socks and tighty whiteys - oh and shades. :-)
Mollusc shed YET ANOTHER TOOTH today. Good Grief. This is the third in, like, a week! Sheesh!

Got a movie gripe to share?

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Well Smack My Grandma!!

Mr. Froggy

OK this has nothing to do with grandmas, at least not at this stage of the writing. Maybe something will work its way in there. I just used it for a title because the DJ at the "family fun" thing last night said it and it made me laugh. Now you, too, can use this eloquent expression.

Today The Prawn and my friend's daughter were both invited to a birthday party, so we went together to save gas/not lose me because I suck at simultaneous driving and navigation. From The Prawn's reaction to this, riding in their van was every bit as exciting as actually going to the party, LOL! It turned out to be very, very cool because the b-day family had a sailboat. The dad (also a friend from TKD) offered to take me out, and after sort of declining twice, I gave in, LOL! He was dying to get it out on the water for the first time this year and I was itching to get out, too, as it's been about 9 years since I last sailed. Boy, do I have the bug again now. It was coming on anyway, but now my fate is sealed - sailing fever bigtime. It was awesome! They live right on a private lake and there are no motorboats or jetskis allowed. The wind was great - enough to really go, but not get flung about wildly. Oh, yeah, the kids had a good time, too, LOL! It ended up being sort of a beach party as all the kids wandered down to their little beach and built The Panama Canal and frolicked and, yes, swam - fully clothed, LOL!

We gave the little girl a purple dress-up cloak I had made some time ago for the online store (which I basically ignore these days as I can no longer get into my FTP program for some reason :-P Plus, who has the time?!?)

The little girl is Prawnie's size, so it's down to almost her ankles and should last a good long time. :-) I'm always a bit nervous about giving homemade gifts. People who sew realise there's love and effort put into them, but I'm never sure how they'll be received by those who don't sew. To be on the safe side, we gave a set of rubber stamps, too. :-) My fears were probably groundless, as everyone went "Ooooooh!" when she pulled out the cloak. She seemed to really like both gifts. Whew!

GutTEr MuNKi got a really racy catalog in the mail today and my friend and I were looking at it with him before leaving for the party. I'm not linking it because I don't want the kind of peeps who are Googling that ending up here, but if you're dying of curiosity, LMK. It seemed to start out relatively tame, and move onward more and more into the realm of psychotic freakdom, but we didn't get all the way through before we had to leave. On the way back, my friend and I were wondering where it could possibly be going from where we had left off, so of course we had to check it out when we got home. Well smack my Grandma! I know about a fair number of strange and eccentric bedroom practices, but there are things in this catalog that I had never heard of before. And WHY someone would want to voluntarily do these things is well beyond me. It was with much sniggering, gasping, exclaiming and rapid hiding of the magazine every time one of the kids wandered through that we finished the catalog.

So GuTter MuNKi and The Boy were on their own for a bit as they dropped off the bigs at a sleepover this afternoon and The Prawn and I were off at the party. Naturally, they went to The Man Store and purchased oddly shaped lightbulbs, which we needed, and Mr. Froggy up there, whom we didn't but who is pretty neat-o. He's solar, and will help light the walk to the front door, which is otherwise left in inky blackness at night, so I guess maybe we did need him.

Guess what I discovered about the Four Ring (well, it ain't the One Ring - it's my 4th. . . so far) today.

Well smack my grandma! When the hell did that happen? Probably on Thursday evening when I was helping with Little Kid class and showing them how to punch the bag. Crap. This break is in a different place than the last time. I take it off when we work on the bags in our class and when we spar, but it never occurred to me to take it off when I was teaching that night. Poo. The "sold" tramp stamp is sounding more and more appealing. :-P

Since The Bigs were going to be off at a sleepover, GutTer MuNKi also bought chem sticks at The Man Store so the Littles would have something entertaining of their own tonight. It worked.

Oh yeah - when I got home from the party (aka the awesome sailing) it was to find that GuTter MuNKi had been cleaning the bathroom and bedroom and making that awesome Bajingo Chicken of his. Guess who gets a huuuuuuuuuuuge-@$$ reward tonight?? Something to rival the catalog, albeit in a totally non freaky-psychotic way.

Friday, June 02, 2006


So most people know about James "Jimmy" Riddle Hoffa, yes? And about the big dig for his bones under that barn in Milford? (scroll down in the Wiki article - oh and yes, that's the same chopper that took our picture when the Milford high school was on fire on swimming day a few weeks ago.) Well, driving through MILFord is always entertaining these days because of some of the clever signs you see. Here are 3 we saw today:

ABC, CBS, NBC say Hoffa still MIA (Dairy Queen)

Roses are Red, The FBI is blue, No bones 4 them, Higher taxes 4 U. (other side of Dairy Queen)
Didja notice that Jimmy was born on St. Valentine's day? What an appropriate poem.

And my fave:

Barn torn down by the FBI? We can help you rebuild! (Architechtural Firm)

Wow, I'm having trouble believing this is still Friday. We went swimming this morning, stopped in at a nursery on the way home and bought a pot for our rosemary and a big Yarrow plant because I was looking for a hanging basket and can never follow instructions even from myself. Also because the Yarrow was friendly-looking with lots of bright yerrow ;-) flowers, and cheap for its size.

When we came home, we planted the Yarrow and made some forays into Fairy Gardening, which was very very fun :-) We built little pebbled paths and tried our hands at some simple houses. I'll have to snap some pics tomorrow.

This evening, in lieu of Red belt classes, the kids did a demo at a "family fun day" at a local elementary school. One of my children has now been inside a school (Gogo has a thing about sticky hands, so we had to take him twice to wash them - snowcones, dontcha know.) They had a big expandable metal barrier pulled across the main hallway so people could use the bathroom but not go into the school proper. We often refer to schools as "children's prison," so the bars really impressed him, LOL! But on the way out, he said, "It's actually kinda nice for a prison." *snort*

I talked Thos. Covenant a little bit with one of the TKD dads - the only other person I know IRL who has read them. This is also the same guy who has a niece in Les Miz, so we talked about that a bit as well. The demo went very well, and we got out of there just as a storm was kicking up, came home with friends and demolished several pizzas and talked while the kids played.

All in all it was a good day, but it seems like it was 2 or 3 days and I'm wiped out. :-P


Man, I'd Like Forty winks

Mom! I Lit a Fire!

Moo! I Love to Forage

Meow! It's a Licking Frenzy!

Meat: It's Like Food

What's your MILF acronym?

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Last Unwizened HNT

Yup. This is my last HNT at age 36. Next one will be, like, totally wizened and scary. Don't laugh too much. I ran out of ideas after Fal knocked my socks off with his. Actually, I'm not wearing socks, which means that by default, it knocked my undies off. Surprise, surprise. Anyway, I came home wiped out after class and sparring and all I could think of was the new mountain block we started learning today (hence my lack of perfection, LOL!) So voilà. Yeah, I should have tightened and retied my belt first. But I didn't. This is the ragged-out me.

How come hardly any of you folks do HNT? Egan, you haven't even done a FKT in forever. Those were a scream. :-)

GUtTEr MuNKi and I watched "
La Femme Nikita" last night, and I could SWEAR that Alan Rickman (*pant pant*) was the pharmacist at the beginning, but IMDb says no. While I did enjoy the film, I would change 2 things. 1) Have her totally get it on with Bob (mmmmm Bob) and 2) give it a GOOD ending - or even an ending, period. If you watch this film, watch it in French with Eng subtitles if need be. Do NOT watch it with the English voiceover, which is so off base and just poorly done it's laughable :-P Well, unless you're drunk and just want to laugh.

GuTteR MunKi pulled a groin muscle in sparring tonight. Can you say OUCH boys n girls? Yeeeeeeeeouch. And he was so bummed, cuz it was the first time we've done free sparring in a while and he was going to get to spar the new BIG guy, but alas. :-( I know how bad it sucks to be sitting there watching instead of sparring since I had to do it a few times on account of my knee - which, BTW is doing waaaaaaaaay better, so I'm not going to the Dr. (surprise, surprise ;-) )

Today I actually cranked out a bunch of a new kids' book I'm working on. Woo hoo! Oh, and my poem went up at Justus Roux's for the month of June. It was based on a
dream I mentioned a few mos ago. The poem is under a pen name (since I write for kids under my real name) but if anyone wants to check it out, I can email the link and tell you which is mine. It's actually my least fave of the 3 I submitted, LOL! But I can send the others, too. Just let me know. Oh yeah - milkmaidenster at gmail dot com.

I got to hold that baby again. I know I've said I'm over the baby thing. And I am. I think. No, really I am. But oh my, babies are just so - - *sigh* I love babies. He's really starting to develop a personality now, too. Today he was looking over my shoulder at the big red spots on the kicking targets and smiling up a storm. Awwww. Such a cutie-boy. I got to feed him today and even though it was a bottle, which makes for a rather different feeding position than I'm used to, he did a lot of the same things mine all did while "dining" at that age ;-) and it really brought back the memories - little tiny starfish hands closing and opening earnestly as he drank, little bitty eyes (ever notice how perfectly *tiny* babies' eyes are?) wandering here and there, taking it all in. Just the contented look on his face was so similar to my little babes's, and his little tummy getting all *ROUND* when we has full - like a wee tick, LOL! We always called our nurslings "the milk-tick." Flattering, I know. :-P OK, enough of that. I will spare you more sweet little tiny perfect baby details.

I know I suck at getting HNTs up for the actual day of Thursday. Maybe I'll prepare ahead next time. In the meantime, I'll pat myself on the back for getting it up before midnight. :-P