Wednesday, May 28, 2008

More Than a Bumblebee, More Than an Ant. . .

So much has been going on! We went to see Eddie Izzard on May 20th, which was great. First we ate at a topless restaurant. I didn't really get it, because everyone was wearing clothes, but our server announced that it was a "topless-style restaurant" so I feigned understanding and considered removing my top. No one else did, though, so I followed suit and remained overdressed. The place where we ate was directly across from the Detroit Opera House, where Eddie was playing, so after our meal, we meandered over there and gawped at the goodies. MuNKi asked to see a shirt in a Women's medium, which earned him all kinds of weird looks. Now that is incredibly silly, because it's EDDIE IZZARD, Man, and why WOULDN'T a guy be buying a woman's shirt? But I digress.

Here's the thing. iPhones should be banned from Opera Houses. So should innattentive bitches who (for some unfathomable reason) don't want to be there anyway and insist on playing with said iPhone throughout the entire show, thus scarring the retinas of everyone behind her with the blinding glare of the screen. How I wanted to give that chick an iSmack in the back of the head! I mimed doing it once or twice, but she didn't seem to pick up on my wrath vibe.

There was a mass (OK not mass, but largish) exodus from the show a few minutes in. I'm not sure whether it was Eddie's weird theories on God (doubtful, since Detroit is such a Godforsaken place ;-) ), his disappointing lack of drag, or the fact that they had wandered into the wrong theatre. It wasn't one of those "we're season ticket holders and we had no clue what we were in for" things, because Eddie wasn't included in the season package. Maybe they had already seen it all on YouTube.

Our Memorial Day Weekend included a day of soapmaking with the lovely Erica and her friend, the Soaping Goddess, followed by too much fantastic guacamole (made by the Soaping Goddess) and a barbecue, followed by a ceremonial scorching of marshmallows over a fire, and the sacrifice of many of said marshmallows to the Fire-Pit God. My children love fire. They love putting things into fire and taking them out again and then, yes, putting them back in. (in a sort of Eeyore-with-his-balloons-and-honey-pot way, but with quite a bit more drama) They love using toasting forks until the prongs glow like a cauterizing eyeball-gouger-outer, and they love flaming marshmallows. Mollusc had to get hosed off a couple of times. (She's my dainty one. OK, not so much.)

Monday brought the arrival of people I had never met before who had come to stay the night. OK, so I was a little stressed about that. But it all worked out.

And then, somehow, some strange how, it was Wednesday. I'm not sure what happened there. I do know that I should go see if MuNKi has managed to make the 3rd period of the Wings game appear on the wall.

I also have some bars of soap that I plan to sniff a lot and try not to eat.

17 comments:

egan said...

It's not the iPhone's fault. It's operator stupidity. Eddie, you lucky girl.

Um, you mean you were eating at a tapas restaurant don't you? You're so silly.

Candace said...

Yes, the chick was definitely an iDiot. And thoughtless to boot.

I swear she said topless. And there was no Mexican food in sight.

egan said...

Maybe there was Spanish or Basque food? I mean really, I've heard the "topless" tapas joke many times.

Kick the woman to the curb like the badass you are!

kitkat said...

I thought tapas referred to way the food is served (small dishes, shared by the whole table) rather than the country of origin. Anyway...

I'm a little taken by fire too. Anytime we have one in the fireplace (which isn't often), I can't stop poking at it. If we ever had marshmallows, I'd probably sit in front of the fire all night.

Candace said...

Egan - Yes I'm being silly, you goof. ^_^

Next time I may kick an offender like that to the curb, but I didn't want to miss Eddie (more than she was causing me to anyway.)

Kitkat - yep. The place is called "Small Plates" and was exactly as you describe.

I think the kids are doubly blessed with the fire gene by both MuNKi and myself. :)

Sicilian Mama said...

Eddie! Too funny that MuNKi got funny looks asking for a woman's shirt.

My biggest pet peeve is people messing with their phones during a movie or theatre event. I seriously get so angry and one time I totally chewed out a kid at a play who answered his phone and started talking during the opening number of Footloose. So rude!

Flaming marshmallows are a must at campfires!

radioactive girl said...

So many things to comment on I guess I will just choose this. One time, many years ago, my husband called and said he'd be home late because he was taking clients for a topless dinner. I was confused (but sort of happy that his company which is normally so conservative) would allow him to do this. I had no idea what he really said until I repeated the story to someone else and they laughed at me. Because I have great friends. And I am stupid sometimes. (I had never heard of it, obviously).

My husband also takes clients to some place where they bring out tray after tray of different meats and you just eat until you can't eat anymore. He always feels sick the next day from that one. I have no idea what style of dining that would be considered.

Candace said...

Armie - Good for you for chewing out that kid! :)

Tori - I was so sure the server had said topless. I just assumed it meant the style of dining we were doing. It wasn't until Erica said "tapas" that I understood. I'd always assumed tapas was Mexican food. ^_^ I do, after all, live under a rock (not to mention the never eating out thing :-P ) "Dim Sum style" would have made more sense to me.

There's a restaurant here somewhere that does what you described your husband going to (with all the meat.) It's a Brazilian steakhouse. Apparently that's the style of serving. So says MuNKi anyway.

radioactive girl said...

Yes! I believe that is what he called it. He said I should never go there. I don't eat a lot of meat and he fears that much at once would kill me or something.

Candace said...

LOL! You could have a coronary right there. ^_^

Diesel said...

They should tell people to turn their phones OFF in theaters, not just silence them. Those things are bright, and hella distracting.

tshsmom said...

I think ALL cell phones should be banned from EVERY entertainment venue! If you can't survive without your cell phone for 2-3 hours, STAY HOME!

Candace said...

Diesel - Wouldn't that be lovely? Sigh. Or maybe just make it legal to smack people who don't turn them off. Yes. I think that would be more satisfying.

Tshsmom - I can see having it on buzz for emergency if you have kids at home, but other than that, yes, stay home if you're too important to be out of contact with the world for 2 freakin' hours! :-P

Claire said...

Totally agree about cell phones! But hey, I just saw Phantom of the Opera at the community center and nobody's phone went off. Of course they made a big deal about it...
I might be retarded -who is Eddie Izzard??

Candace said...

Oooooh! I do love POTO. THat's pretty impressive that the phones were silent. :)

Eddie Izzard is a comedian. He's a riot! ^_^

Trundling Grunt said...

We saw Eddie Izzard in Indy in May - probably the same show - and he was excellent. Laughed for 2 hours solid. I did, that is. Not him.

Round here they have a (very good) tapas restaurant. But the locals like value for money so they are the largest tapas I've seen. Damn, now I feel hungry.

Happy Birthday!

Candace said...

Oh, big tapas would be excellent!

Eddie is so entertaining. I think my favourite part was the whole hashish/assasin bit with the picnic table. ^_^