Monday, March 02, 2009

Life Marches On

Here's the thing: if I'm going to do something it needs to be now. I don't want to wake up and find myself 65 years old and still waiting for the next adventure to begin. "Eventually."

I come from a line of nomadic people, though you wouldn't know it to look at them. They don't keep camels or anything, I mean, or live in stick huts. Anymore. But they were globetrotters. I don't think that I realised until I was nearing adulthood that some people actually stayed in the same country, or even state, as their extended family. Forever.

Six years is the longest I've ever spent in one house, and now I find myself coming up on a six year mark once again and feeling suffocated. I love it here. I love the friends I've made. I love the things we do. I love the beauty of Michigan. I love my life. But to be honest, I'm itching to go again. I have wanderlust. I don't know if I'll ever be able to settle in one place "for the rest of my life." It just sounds so. . . final.

There's a chance we could go to Germany for 12-18 mos, which would be terrific, but it wouldn't be for a year or so yet. And if that falls through, my feet are still yearning for new soil -- another continent.

In the macrocosm of my life, I'm preparing for big changes, while in the microcosm, I keep on keeping on as it were -- making soap and selling it at the co-op, doing rewrites on the novel that I finally finished(!!), taking and teaching Tae Kwon Do classes, and homeschooling the kids. I plan my garden and hope there's no point this time. I pare down our books to what I would only be willing to cart across the ocean, and still find new ones to buy. I get passport applications and maps of the UK and Germany, and I think of painting the kids' rooms. It makes my head spin, to be honest. I feel like I'm straining against a giant rubber band, drawn back after each lunge, but still aching to cut myself free.

7 comments:

Winters said...

I too have that nomadic streak, C, and I understand much of what you say here (so well) all too well.

Ah, you finished the novel. Great!
And you're back. Equally great!

:)

kitkat said...

Congrats on finishing the novel! That's terrific.

I know exactly what you mean by the nomadic life. Rather, I "knew." Now I want nothing more than to just have one single place to call home for the rest of my life and it's the one thing I can't hope to have for another decade. But, until very recently, I wanted to move every few years, and I think 7 years is the longest I've lived somewhere (although we lived in two different houses). I crave newness and an excuse to get rid of stuff and start over (instead of settling and dealing with what I have). But I hope you get what you want and find your new soil :)

Candace said...

Thanks S. It's wonderful to know kindred souls. And I'm excited to have a new Winters adventure to read. :)

Katie, I thought the same thing when we moved here -- thought I was OK with settling in. On yr 2 I was thrilled to be embarking on yr 3. On yr 3, I was still pleased to be here. In fact, it didn't really hit me until very recently, but when it did, it hit hard, like when you find yourself slipping on ice and scrabble to keep your feet, only to launch yourself up into the air and make the impact all the more jarring. ;-)

SM said...

What's the opposite of a nomad? Because that's me? I've lived in the same state (not necessarily the same place, though) for almost 30 years now. And I'm quite happy with it. But I know a lot of people like you - my mother is actually like that.

Congrats on finishing the novel! When will it be published? I wants to read it!

SM said...

p.s. I was very excited to see a new post over here!

radioactive girl said...

I feel the same way. I would LOVE to start a new adventure. Sadly my husband is the opposite of me in that. He is comfy where we are settled.

When I was in high school, I lived in Illinois, Arizona and Australia. It was the best times of my life (other than having my kids and all the stuff I know you know I mean).

Candace said...

SM - A stable individual? ^_^ You're lucky you've found your niche. I don't know whether I have one, or whether perhaps moving IS my niche, LOL!

Thanks on the congrats. Well, I have to do the rewrites and submit it for publication, and THEN some lovely editor (who will, for a least one brief shining moment, have the incredible good fortune to be my very favourite person in the world) will have to have the incredible vision to understand what a whopping great bestseller she/he has on her/his hands and accept it for publication. Barring that, I will have to find an agent (same conditions) who can push it off on some lucky editor who will then become world-renowned for their incredible insight in accepting my book. ;-)

So, basically, I have no clue. ^_^

And thanks for your enthusiasm. It means a lot to me. :)

Tori - Thankfully, my man has got a similar sense of adventure and is willing to go pretty much anywhere as long as he has a job. He insists that he must provide, and really, I wouldn't have it any other way, since I truly do love my own role as mom and teacher and writer. :)

Looking at the UK (which is where I'd love to be first) I see that it's VERY difficult for Americans to get work there. Companies must first prove that they CANNOT find a suitable person for the job anywhere in the UK in order to justify bringing over a Yank. :-P Maybe if you have an in. . . I do know someone who has said he'll take MuNKi's resume/CV and try to find suitable parties to which to forward it. Networking probably helps.

Germany would be great because it would all be on MuNKi's employer's dime, and we could travel just about anywhere. But my heart says I must live in the UK for at least a little while.