Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Up Yours

The other day I was giggling to myself about some packaging I'd seen. It was a scrapping kit with, among other things, rubber stamps, and was labeled in several languages, including French. The first time I picked up the package, I was a bit startled to see that tampons were included with the art supplies. I mean, who knew that menstruation and artistic streaks went hand-in-hand? It certainly makes me rethink the possible meaning of Picasso's "Blue Period." And the phrase "painting the town red."

Looking for a picture of a similar package brought me to, among other things, The Vulva Museum. And then there was this. Because everyone wants a bajingo with sass. Or maybe it makes you feel better to read something that helps you feel sassy right before you shove this cotton wadding up your hoo-ha. Do you think the Super Ditties have really great messages, and the Regulars are just ho-him?

In addition to these amazing finds, I discovered that you can buy
Tampon Cozies. They come in the ubercharming Uterus and Banana motifs.

You can also avail yourself of a Tampon Doll in case you find that you need a very up close and personal experience. (well, I guess all tampons are up close and personal) You could name it Prince Charles.

You can turn actual tampons into any number of amazing Christmas crafts.

Or for the Manly Man - well, I'll let you see for yourself. And for those with way too much time on their hands, and possibly questionable sanity, a page for Make Your Own Menstruating Barbie.

And, OK, I'll share one more link.

All right, that's all. I think I got a little too absorbed in this tangent.


ann said...

that Barbie link... grooooosssssss!!! eeeek!

I've never liked tampon ads on the box... to me it's something all women use, they've got to buy them anyway, so what's the point of pressing home the point, like we need to be reminded. Especially those beautiful thin dollybirds prancing around on the sand with no signs of a zit, or cramps, or headache, or chocolate cravings...

using their tampons never made me feel like that... huh!

funny post though... thanks for the laugh

ARM said...

Holy crap, Candace! The tampon gun is classic. Barbie kinda freaks me out, though.

Candace said...

Ann - Is that not a disturbing Barbie? Well, I guess more disturbing is the fact that someone took the time to do that. :-P I really wondered a lot about that person. ^_^

I agree 100% with your sentiments on the Tampon ads and packaging. Bleh.

Amanda - The gun could be fun. Especially in an (in)appropriate environment where you could really disturb people. ^_^ I actually waffled on including Barbie. There are some weird people out there. I did think the napkin surgical sheet was funny, though. ^_^

Candace said...

Ooooh, Amanda - I'll try to get the Buckeyes up today. Really! :)

Slade said...

this is too funny because I'm at work and most of your links are blocked from our college's website...must be some raunchiness on there! hehe

Anonymous said...

Seems i'm the only man so far who's comfortable enough with this topic to comment.

Umm.... Splendid tampon post, C. I learned a lot.


egan said...

Winters, I'm not afraid to comment. This is one of the few times I've clicked on all your links. I'm thankful I did because there are some dandies here.

The tampon cozies could be used for something else, wink wink. The great thing about the menstrating Barbie is you don't have to read German to understand what's happening.

The word tampon in French means plug or cork. Un bouchon is a tampon.

Anonymous said...

Monsieur Egan. Tu est un homme du 21eme siecle.

C'est admirable. Merci, monsieur.

Logophile said...

heh heh
I must say, a tampon gun that would actually FIRE tampons, that would be excessively cool
I think I need one

Claire said...

Very funny and yucky all at once. I used to say my boys would make a gun out of anything-- well I lied!
Best thing that ever happened to me:
I got separated from my uterus. FREEDOM!! It's a beautiful thing.

Trundling Grunt said...

Reminded me of the Young Ones when Rick finds a tampon in a handbag and thinks it's a toy white mouse. I was tempted to say you had too much time on your hands, I think that applies to the people who produce some of these things. And who dreamt up the menstrual Barbie? What next - American Girls????

GuTTer MuNKi said...


You said 'absorbed'.

Candace said...

Slade - there's some definite uh, weirdness in those links. ^_^

Winters - bravo! You paved the way. ^_^ I'm glad you found it enlightening. Nice skullish sort of face there. :)

Egan - I'm glad you checked out the links. I should hope the tampon cozies would be far too small for another use *nudge nudge* I was wondering what the French word was. All I could find was "tampon" - seemingly a multipurpose word. I was really hoping it would turn out to be "rubber stamp" but alas.

Winters - Mais non. Il est un singe du 21eme siecle. ^_^

Logo - imagine the possibilities. ^_^

Claire - oh yes - a cheese sandwich, a stick, a Barbie doll - all is grist for their war-machine mill. ^_^ A friend was telling me just last night that she wished she'd taken her freedom YEARS ago, LOL!

TG - OMG yes - classic episode! "Hello Rhiannon! Are you glad you came to the party?" ^_^ (I remember too many of those lines!) I don't know whose mind is behind that Barbie thing, and I'm not really sure I want to. :)

MuNKi - You sucked that one right up! Or something. . .

ldbug said...

That's truely frightening..

Jay said...

Jason almost hurt himself yesterday, witnessing a commercial for "sporty" tampons - they pretty much sold him on them, I think. You can play tennis AND soccer AND snowboard AND swim - and it has super-grips!

Candace said...

Ldbug - I hope you don't have nightmares. :)

Jay - What timing! ^_^ I wonder if buying and wearing those would actually enable me to snowboard. Super grips sound a little scary to take out, though. :-P

Good for Me said...

this is a fantastic post. i could hardly stand the vulva bed on the vulva museum sight. my mouth dropped in disbelief. all too funny.

yesterday my 6 year old boy took a tampon from the bathroom and pretending to pee through it said, "mom, is this what you do with it?"

Candace said...

I think that bed was my favourite oddity on that page. ^_^

LOL about your boy! Does he think it's a pee adaptor since we are pinistically challenged? ^_^

Good for Me said...

that's a good one, but i'm not to sure. he actually still thinks i have a penis even though i've told him many times what i have...and that it's not a penis. i think he loves his too much to believe it could be true.

Candace said...

Heh!! Poor boy! My friend's son got all freaked out when he found out his mom didn't have one. He thought she must have broken it off. ^_^