Deep Thoughts

So I'm at the library, making judicious use of my enforced computer/writing time by checking my Scrabulous games, putting books on hold and blogging. Just now, I tried to put an audio recording of The Wee Free Men on hold, but the system didn't allow it. (Some libraries are selfish bastards and won't share with ours.) The computer popped up a screen informing me "Hold Not Allowed" and presented me with only one option: the OK button. But it is most definitely Not OK that they are a collection of selfish bastards who won't share with me when I Really, Really Want to hear this book. Honestly, what am I supposed to do? Push the OK button, even though it's Not OK? Throw a screaming hissy on the library floor? Navigate away and blog about it?

Also, when a math problem works out to something like "7= (-156)" isn't that technically a paradox? And aren't paradoxes rather earth-shattering events? They were in every Dr. Who episode I every saw. Imagine my surprise to find us all still here.

Curriculitis

This is what homeschooling moms develop when they look at too many books online and try to decide what to buy and then what combination of sellers will give the best value. :-P

I'm having a lot of parent-teacher conferences with myself tonight.

Saturday Already?!?

I find many things running through my head just now, though none of them really make sense or will be of interest to anyone. But it's my blog, so I shall spew it anyway.

Thanks to magnetic poetry words (but not Magnetic Poetry™ words) and a sleepover friend, we have a new definition of the word "rainbow" at our house. The sentence posted was "When my foot runs on soft jam I rainbow" I bet you can guess what rainbow means. It's much akin to having a Technicolour Yawn, 'yoffing' or 'shouting soup.'

I went shopping with Fishy just a little yesterday. I was mainly after wee trees for the kids' rooms. Somehow I ended up with a cool little kitty hideway and some other stuff, too. The lines weren't major, even though there were few checkers. Today, however, I went to Joann's to get thread for my recently booming TKD patch-sewing-on and pants-hemming biz (which still feels like highway robbery, though I'm not complaining) and ended up putting it back and leaving empty-handed because the line was so looooooong. Fortunately the trip was still successful in the Christmas and birthday present realm because we hit Tree Town Toys in Ann Arbor, which has no end of cool stuff.

I might have more to say, but I can hear Christmas Vacation starting without me, so I'm off.

Later, Dudes!

WANT!

The kids and I are starting to converse with each other in LOLCatese. Sometimes it just makes something funny even funnier.

Anyway, here's some fun stuff:

T-shirt #1

T-shirt#2

Um?

"Paper! Nom Nom Nom!"

Too Cool to Imagine

Even Cooler?

In other news, Fishy has started his very own tank of Sea Monkeys. You know, those things that look absolutely NOTHING like the picture on the packaging, which, even though your mom warns you over and over will look like wee shrimpies and do not, in fact, ride seahorses, you still kinda think might look like little pink people with crowns and big cheesy smiles. (that was me, not Fishy)

I had forgotten that Sea Monkeys (well, all but mine, that is) actually hatch out and start swimming within MINUTES of hitting the water. That's kinda cool. OK, who am I kidding? It's WAY cool!

I was a little disconcerted when the Fishman asked how old I was, and then informed me that according to his manual I would need a magnifying glass to see his pets. O_o Fortunately, you can't believe everything you read.

Sunday Funday

I'm off to BG's to inspect the proposed site for her flock of Sky Chairs and fondle fabrics while MuNKi runs some wires for her network.

By now it shouldn't surprise you at all that this cracks me up. BG and I found it whilst surfing one day. Don't ask.

Entertaining While Inebriated

I found a really fun book at the library today. It's packed with great tips on things like Entertaining the Elderly, including a recipe for "I Remember the War Cube Steak," which invites you to take a cube steak and "bang it with a mallet until it is riddled with pockmarks," and the BRITTLE diet (Bananas, Raisins, Ice milk, Turnips, Tomato juice, Lentils, Escarole.)

The section on children's games had me in stitches, especially the part on Gerneral Party Game Safety, which reads in one breathless paragraph:

"If for any reason a child's clothing catches fire, prevent the child from running because this adds oxygen, causing him to burn more quickly. Roll the smoldering child on the ground or in a rug. If a youngster breaks though the ice, have him kick his feet and wriggle to a solid surface. Kerosene is an accelerant: try not to mix it with an open flame unless an escape route is cleared. Stay in single file. Don't scratch, and don't ever put that in your mouth. The eyes are the most vulnerable part of a wolf. When cornered, jab something pointy into this area."

There are plenty of fun game suggestions (play "Grown-Up" and Social Services), hundreds of off-colour 70's photographs straight out of your grandmother's handy housewife book, and a plethora of recipes. Now, I'm not so sure about these recipes. It's kind of like reading the Onion back when I was a student on the Madison campus during its startup days. I never knew if the coupons were for real, and I was too chicken to ask.

I don't know who Amy Sedaris is, but I have this nagging feeling that I ought to and that perhaps if my television got channels I might. What I do know is that she makes me laugh. A lot. ^_^ Click the pic and check her out.

The Ratings Game

Mollusc is a collector and connoisseur of MPAA ratings. Some of these ratings categories include:

"Shark Attacks and Langauge" (shark language?? Save us!)

"Epic Warfare"

"Swashbuckling Violence"

"Adventure Violence"

"Intense Science Fiction Terror"

It's funny how many there really are. So we have fun making up our own. You know, stuff like

"Silent Violence"

"Mime Slaughter" (Mollusc: "You made that one up right?" Me: "Yeah." Mollusc: "Awwww!")

"Premenstrual Violence"

"Musical Violence"

"Inappropriate Touching and Music"

"Musical Horror" (^_^)

"Mathematical Terror"

"Action/Adventure Birth"

"Excessive Norging"

What kind of ratings exist in your world?

Join the ASPCM

Just one of many reasons why, no matter how creepy they are (especially, in fact, because they are creepy) you should always be kind to mannequins.



I really wanted to put up "In my Room," but I couldn't find it.

Who's Giddy?

OMG now that we have our wristband, it is really sinking in.

If you were at our house today you would hear random shouts of:

"Who's excited?"

"Who's giddy?"

and

"Olé!"

You would be treated, as well, to rousing renditions of "The Mysterious Ticking Noise."

The kids are bouncing off the walls. Well, they're currently swinging and singing (the Mysterious Ticking Noise Song) and shouting, but you know. *I'm* bouncing off the walls.

This is something the likes of which my kids may never see again. I'm excited for me, but mostly, I'm excited for them.

"I've found the source of the Mysterious Ticking Noise; it's a pipe bomb!"

"Yaaaaaaaaaaay!"

Playing Hooky

Say the words "crochet" or "knit" and I bet the things that come into your mind are words like "doily" or "antimacassar," "frumpy," and "Grandma."

But it doesn't have to be that way.

Whether it's a knit edible V-string, a skull afghan, or your own Weasley sweater, the yarnier arts have come a long way.

There are books for sexy knits and already made crocheted bra and panty sets.

Mmmm! Bacon and eggs (see sidebar there.)

Got Goth? (More Bacon? ^_^)

Or maybe a digestive tract is more up your, uh, alley.

And I defy you to tell me that this screams Grandma. If it does, you may want to go home and rethink your life.

Zoom Zoom

I like sound effects. Especially the last one here: