Monday, June 11, 2007

I Find Your Lack of Couth Disturbing

To sort of quote Darth Vader. . .

The bad thing about being a slightly hippie-minded person is that you tend to run into the same bunch of people all over the place. At least if you live in a small town, anyway.

So there's this guy by the name of "Tom," which (no offense to any of you Toms who is actually a normal human being) in my somewhat limited experience is a name that only rather strange men seem to have. Or I guess it's that boys named Tom grow up to be rather strange men. Or maybe it's that boys named Thomas, who choose to go by the nickname 'Tom' grow up to be losers. Or it could simply be that I have met all the People Named Tom who are either deranged, losers, or have the personality of wallpaper paste, and the rest (whom I have yet to meet) are lovely people. Anyway. . .

Let's start with how I know his name is Tom. It was kind of a no-brainer, (Mace Windu's first words) because a couple of weeks ago when I first encountered him, a child at the park went from whining it at him to literally screaming it at him. His response? To come and cater to her every whim of course. And when she started calling him names? Well, pretending to cry was his response of choice. It was pretty icky and certainly did not inspire my respect. He then proceeded to show his Prowess at All Things by beating the little boys in the group at everything and gloating about it. Did I mention that Tom is about 50-something? I sense insecurity. I eventually came to the disappointing (38 seconds in) conclusion that he was a part of a homeschool group that had come to the park that day.

So of course he showed up at the co-op on Friday, where he proved to be just as icky as he had seemed at the park. I noticed him, of course, and carefully avoided eye contact (and anything else that could be misinterpreted as an overture of -- well, acceptance of him as a part of the gene pool,) but the woman at the counter beside me wasn't as well-informed as I was and thus, when some utterance came out of Tom's mouth, rather than simply becoming more absorbed in her tallying (as I did) she looked up and answered him. At which point he asked, "How did you know I was talking to you?"

"You were looking at me," she said.

He then proceeded to mock her with that false sort of humour that has just enough undercurrent of meanness to let you know what sort of person you're really dealing with. Do you know the kind I mean? If not, consider yourself lucky. :) "I just said it, and then looked around to see who would look at me." He continued, but at that point I stopped listening because on some visceral level he bothers me too much for me to afford the nasal sound of his voice any more lodging in my head. I mean, who mocks someone who has been trying to help them? People like Tom, that's who. Maybe I should have said something to Tom about what a rude ass hat he is. I think I'd like to call someone an ass hat just once. ^_^ But I'm not that good at confrontation. On the other hand, I'm sure (most unfortunately) that I'll be seeing him around again, which gives me plenty of time to plan. . .


tshsmom said...

Maybe you'll meet him at Tae Kwon Do and you can kick his ass! ;)

ARM said...

I do know someone like Tom. He's dating one of my friends and she wants to marry him. My BFF and I want to kick him in the nuts.

And I know what you mean about running in to the same people in small towns. Know it. Live it. Don't like it that much.

Definitely a good idea to keep your mouth shut with him, though. For they feed off confrontation (while you dont like it). That is where they try and use their powers of wit and humour and sarcasm and it shows how much of a douche bag they really are.

Jay said...

Where do those people come from?
You showed a lot of restraint by not punching him in the nose.
Hopefully, someone else will and he'll get the hint.

Anonymous said...

I agree with arm about not confronting him, which is odd since I ordinarily would tell someone to confront a rude person. It sounds like he gets off on belittling people in public, so I think embarrassment is the way to go with him.

Candace said...

Tshsmom - Although the ass-kicking part would be really, really enjoyable, I doubt that it would offset the overall miserableness of having to put up with a jerk like that in class all the time. But I can fantasize. . . ^_^

Amanda - that's horrible! I hope she comes to her senses. I, too, would lke to kick this guy in the nuts.

The small town thing has been, for the most part, kinda cool. Except for jerkwad. Oh yeah, and I found out he's the uncle of the (heretofore unmentioned) jerk-boy across the street from where Sluggie does her Mommy Helpering. There's a shock.

Jay - I don't know. I always wonder where people like this get their personalities.

I've noticed that he tends to hang out where there are only other women around. I've never seen him interact with an adult male. Probably because they would punch him in the nose.

Kitkat - Yeah, I'm just not a good confronter. Especially not with 4 kids in tow, LOL! Talk about a Bad Mommy Example. ^_^ Then again, maybe I'm being a bad example by showing them a Mama who doesn't stand up for human decency. Crap.

Granny Annie said...

You caused me to ponder Toms. I knew one who wasn't so bad but he died in a fiery accident that involved smoking and gasoline. What does that tell you? The other is a pedophile, I'm almost certain but don't have anough evidence to prove it.

Claire said...

He sounds like a crazy kookola! I would avoid him due to his excessively negative energy (which you even felt!). Nobody needs that kind of shit. I feel sorry for the kids he deals with, poor things. Obviously if he got up in your face I'm sure you could easily take of it!

Candace said...

Annie - that's creepy. Especially the pedophile part. But it fits with the nameotype as far as my experience goes. Yechh.

Claire - Yeah, I will definitely not be interacting with this dude. I found out a friendis doing something with the hs group he was with. I thought about asking if she's met him, but couldn't bring myself to talk about him. Blech.

Diesel said...

I find myself hating Tom. Also, "ass hat" is one of my favorite insults.

Gawpo said...

I'm with Diesel (who, by the way, has an annoying ability to go into brains and steal their words). I love that term, ASS HAT. Cool.

I have a sergeant with that name. I call him toe-MOSS, in keeping for my reverence for the Spanish language. Also know a cook. Same name. Same pronunciation. But I did have....get Uncle Tom. THAT ASS HAT!!! He left my aunt for another something. And to think, I ate pasta with him when I was little and am oft' quoted as having looked up at him while in mid-sup, kicking and wiggling as I ate, I am hyperactively imagining, and saying, " Came good, huh Uncle Tom? Came good, huh?" I wasted a whole term of endearment, as well as the cute way (I was sort of mocking, I guess) our Sicilian grandfather used to complement his own cooking.

That ass hat!!!!

Next time you see him, here's what you do:

"Hey, what's your name?" play dumb, Candace. He'll say, in some sort of ass hat whine, "Tom. Why?" and then you'll go, really loudly, "OH! Like the THUMB? What rhymes with thumb? Oh yeah, I remember now: ASS HAT!" then spin on your heels and walk away. Without profile pic'ing him.

Gawpo said...

But let me just get this on the record right damn now: I love, Chikken's Tom. And Tom from Turlock; if you're out there, man, I love you, too. Then there's Mr. Cruise---another case of discredit to the name. Sad, that. Dut a work.

Candace said...

Diesel - thank you for your support. ^_^ Do you think I'll ever be brave enough to use the term "ass hat" out loud?

Gawpo - Oh, YEAH! Chikken's TOM! I knew there had to ba a good one out there somewhere. Yay!!

I'm loving that scenario you cooked up for me. If I can ever bring myself to speak to the ass hat, I'll have to try it. ^_^