Thursday, October 04, 2007

Evene More of the Storye

**A lost fragment of the manuscript tells us that The Man had actually gone to the hardware store between the acid and Cleanout Drain incidents, and bought a Plumber's Snake, which he used to no avail from above. We return to Hell (ie the basement)**

"I honestly would rather have been vomited on," The Man remarked, standing as he was atop the 3 step ladder, and now drenched in sulphurous-smelling liquid and slimy, clinging spatters of noodle and other assorted mung.

The Woman was secretly very glad that she had been safely just out of range.

With no further barrier to putting the snake in the pipe (as it were) The Man attempted to do just that. Sadly, the 8' snake was too short. Not wanting to shower and change only to have to return to the job of mucking out Hell's Toilet, The Man sent The Woman to the hardware store.

"It's Ladies' Night," he remarked, as if that were somehow relevant. The Woman wondered whether it was. She wondered, too, what the hell Ladies' Night at a hardware store even was. Would there be a discount for her? Free WD-40? Chippendale dancers? Resigning herself to any number of possible fates, she tried not to think about it, instead collecting The Boy for moral support ("now with added Y chromosome!") and setting off for realms unknown.

CD player blaring (primarily to mask the harsh sounds of metal on metal whenever she braked) The Woman approached the hardware store with no little trepidation. The Man had given her the information necessary for a Surgical Strike, but the flashing lights of a police car in the parking lot, in combination with the large group of people clustered outside, did nothing to boost her confidence.

4 comments:

Jayne said...

More please!
...of the story,not the mucky muck...though I won't mind if it's just in the story and not all over my kitchen...

armalicious said...

OMG., I'm not giggling. I swear.

I love how you're detaching yourself from all of this through this story. Good stuff.

armalicious said...

for you

Winters said...

How the plot thickens!
We are now plunged into a world fusing the pregnant imagery of French post-structuralism with the gritty common-sensical metaphorics of English Northern realism.

You are a genius, C.