**A lost fragment of the manuscript tells us that The Man had actually gone to the hardware store between the acid and Cleanout Drain incidents, and bought a Plumber's Snake, which he used to no avail from above. We return to Hell (ie the basement)**
"I honestly would rather have been vomited on," The Man remarked, standing as he was atop the 3 step ladder, and now drenched in sulphurous-smelling liquid and slimy, clinging spatters of noodle and other assorted mung.
The Woman was secretly very glad that she had been safely just out of range.
With no further barrier to putting the snake in the pipe (as it were) The Man attempted to do just that. Sadly, the 8' snake was too short. Not wanting to shower and change only to have to return to the job of mucking out Hell's Toilet, The Man sent The Woman to the hardware store.
"It's Ladies' Night," he remarked, as if that were somehow relevant. The Woman wondered whether it was. She wondered, too, what the hell Ladies' Night at a hardware store even was. Would there be a discount for her? Free WD-40? Chippendale dancers? Resigning herself to any number of possible fates, she tried not to think about it, instead collecting The Boy for moral support ("now with added Y chromosome!") and setting off for realms unknown.
CD player blaring (primarily to mask the harsh sounds of metal on metal whenever she braked) The Woman approached the hardware store with no little trepidation. The Man had given her the information necessary for a Surgical Strike, but the flashing lights of a police car in the parking lot, in combination with the large group of people clustered outside, did nothing to boost her confidence.