Thursday, October 04, 2007

Parte the Seconde

or Thirde, if you count that other update below.

Her husband came home to dress up for his interview. Needless to say, it was not the best of times for unstopping drains. (It may, in fact, have been the worst of times.) She decided to pretend that the whole thing had never happened and to get on with her day. (apart from all that kitcheny-type stuff)

When he returned home, her husband dressed back down and proceeded to recreate the earlier scene with the plunger almost exactly -- right down to the inappropriately giggling child (which irritated him to no end.) He then departed for the hardware store and returned with something lethal that could only be contained by a Jell-O based plasma force-field generated by 3 rodents spinning frantically in wheels. (bonus!)

The cats made short work of the rodents, releasing the caustic liquid, which was then poured down the drain immediately before the Reading of the Fine Print. After the Reading of the Fine Print came the segue into Swearing and Cursing and Much use of Plumbing Words, because of course, the Fine Print stated that one should never, ever, under any circumstances, pour said acid into a garbage disposal.

A quick flushing of the drain with water turned out to not be a flushing at all, since, of course, the drain was still blocked. The Woman was directed to hold down the drain plug once more, while The Man plunged the other side (no, it's not that kind of story) rather vigorously. Met with continued failure, The Man had The Woman pull the plug, releasing a cloud of brown liquid into her side of the sink.

Seeing her hand immersed in the liquid, The Man commented that the Brown Stuff was, in fact, acid. But too late. All the flesh had peeled from her hand and sloughed into a quivering puddle of goo on the floor.

Actually, she was fine.

But there was more to come. . .


Winters said...

This is utterly tremendous, C. Please don't stop.

Candace said...

I'm glad you're enjoying my plumbing atrocity. Perhaps this could be a whole new genre of literature. ^_^

Ashira Gryffin said...

The Mrs. Meyer's cleaner didn't remove the quivering goop from the floor, Mum, I think we need to call a HazMat team. . .