Thursday, November 09, 2006

The Lost Post

I had this idea while I was driving, and I thought, "Hey, that would make good blog fodder." But can I, for the life of me, remember what the hell that fabulous idea was? Reader, I cannot. Crap. Tantalizing fragments of shreds of pieces of the idea whiz through my mind like confetti in a fan factory, and are lost.

In the meantime, I will share with you about one of my favourite things.

Here's the deal with my thing:


-It is hard and SMOOOOOOOOOTH

-It is juicy inside, but the wet stuff only comes out on command

-Using it causes inspiration to sing though my veins and flow out through my fingertips.

-If you touch it ("you" general you, not you personally, or maybe you personally, I haven't decided yet) I will kill you. I'm not a violent person, but I will. If you call me Francis -- wait, no that's not right

Remember "
Nobody touch him! He's MINE!!" But you can look.

I have no idea where to get another. I think GuTTer MuNKi* bought this one at an airport. If you can tell me where to buy more, I will love you forever. Not that I don't already. It says "Pentel" and Orgasma "EnerGel Liquid Gel Ink."

After surfing all the Montblanc pics, my pen is feeling a little bummed that it doesn't have a spiffy name like "Scenium" or "Starwalker" or "Greta Garbo," so I will gladly entertain swanky-sounding names for my favouritest writing instrument.

*This one is safe, Egan. I promise.


Egan said...

I love duct taped pens that say Mont Blanc. What a great stocking stuffer.

Is this a fine point or medium tip?

cindra said...

They are at Staples too. I am yer bitch now! Yeah!

You won, darlin! Go claim your prize at my place. Good rock. Congratulations!!!

Egan said...

Hey, I want to go on record as being the first to let Candace known she won a cool scarf from Cindra.

Cindra, we need to work on your hypertext linking skills.

cindra said...

Egan, you are such a glory grabber.
i can copy and paste if i wanna.
so there.

and i KNIT the scarf, so there again.

Candace said...

Egan - mine is .7 mm. I think I'm going to call him James, because he's so fine.

Cindra - OMG, you are SO my hero!!!! Your wish is my command!

Egan - Thanks, Aquaman! I thought you were messing with me.

Cindra - I think those superhero types always go for the glory.

I can't believe I won that awesome scarf. Tis the season, too!! (esp here in MI)

cindra said...

Aquaman really wanted the scarf himself, but he knew it would slow him down in the water and the little sparkly things would get in his gills.

I'm glad you like the'll look gorgeous wearing it, dahlink.

cindra said...

Oh, I almost command...send me a postcard that you write using James' tip, okay?

ARM said...

I have that problem with blog fodder quite often.

Will you cry when it runs out of ink? I had a relationship with a pen like that once. And when I bought another one of the same brand, I found that it may have been the "same", but it was not the same.

Candace said...

Cindra - Poor Aquaman. But we are saving him from death-by-sparkly-things, so hopefully his pain will be short lived. I will model the scarf for blogpics.:) And yes, I will most definitely send you a postcard using genuine James juice! :)

Arm - Don't you hate that? I sure do. I want to get that T-shirt that says "I'm Blogging this" but I forget so much, it wouldn't be true. Though I'd really like to get one to wear to the next author signing I attend. :) I guess that would be a book signing, not an author signing.

I don't even want to think of James running out of life juices. But these things always end in tragedy. I'm just hoping he doesn't meet a premature death. And no, we can never truly replace those we love. I'm sorry for your loss.

Egan said...

I'm a Wonder Twin because I like to take the shape of all things water based. Please leave me alone as I'm busy informing people they've got millions in overseas bank accounts.

Candace said...

Oh, I remember the Wonder Twins!! Do you remember Diaper Man? I swear I'm the only person who ever saw that show. I've never once met anyone else who has. There was Tornado Man, the water guy (Aquaman maybe?) the rubbery guy (Plastic Man?) and Diaper Man. Diaper Man was my fave because I was always hoping his diaper would fall off, though I think this is the first time I've ever admitted that. I was such a pervy little kid.

Candace said...

PS - how much have I got in overseas bank accounts? I'll be making out my $10,000.00 check to claim it ASAP.

cindra said...

You make me pee my pants, Candace! Funny! Can't wait for the pics and the James Juice.

I really don't remember the Diaper Man at all...and I can't say I'm sorry.

Jaichan said...

You need to try Uniball Signo. I stockpile them. If you take this pen out of the sidepocket on my chef jacket, I will kick you in the crotch with my steel toed clog should it not be returned.
I love them. I bought my last stash at the Walmart in Calais, Maine.
If you can't find any, I will send you some and then you will have the happiest life ever. I promise.

Anonymous said...

People always steal mine.

You do well to be so possessive over yours, C.

GuTTer MuNKi said...

'James' just doesn't have that certain somethin' - somethin' to it. A better name is required. Something that really represents you. Something that expresses the lust you feel for this pen. Hmmm.

I suggest 'Blue Turgidity'.

Oh yeah - do you want to touch my monkey?

As promised, I'll hit the rope store on the way home.

My work here is done.

Now is the time for dancing.

Candace said...

Cindra - I'm sorry about your pants. (and thank you) No Diaper Man for you? Maybe just a diaper. ;)

Jaichan - Forget Egan. WE are separated at birth. I love your no-nonsense approach to pen stealers. I bought 2 signos today as well as some backup Jameses and am about to break them out of the package. I hope James the First doesn't feel threatened.

Winters - I suggest you try my approach, or at least Jaichan's if you aren't feeling up to actual murder. Here in the Detroit Metro Area we are allowed 3 kills per year.

MuNKi - Are you saying you don't like James? Are you feeling threatened, perhaps? Yes, I thin klust is the right word for what I'm feeling.

You know I love the word "turgid."

Ooh! Rope store. :) What kind of dancing? Do you wanna dance, or do you wanna dance?

Egan said...

I've never heard of this Diaper Man, but definitely remember Plastic Man. He was a very cool superhero. I can't believe you don't have any links to Diaper Man stuff. It must be really obsolete.

Steven Novak said...

Juicy inside?

I don't think i've ever quite heard ink described that way. ;)


Candace said...

Egan - I found Diaper Man!!! He looks like that caricature of you at the pool. O_O

Steve - welcome! :) Well, this stuff is really, you know, juicy! I was just looking at your clay penis today. Did I comment over there? If not, how strange that you would come here today. But a lot of strange coincidences have been happeining to me lately. Perhaps they aren't coincidences at all, and I'm just really forgetful. Now I have to go see if I said anything. . .