Red Letter Day

Fishy Rocked the test! I'm stupendously proud. ^_^ Red belt is a big deal. Things really get taken to a new level at red belt. To my immense pride, that very morning, Fishy discovered how to bring a new level of intensity to his forms and blocking sets, popping his dobok sleeves and legs with each block, punch and kick. Hoo ya!



Master: For red belt you have to break 3 boards. (messing with Gogo)


Master: Can you do it?
Fishy: Yes, Sir!

Of course he only really had to break one. But he was prepared. ^_^ My breaking pics are blurry though.



He was squealy-giddy with pride. ^_^



Check out the Master's insanely cool old belt. It's older than Sluggie.



Speakinawhich, 10 years ago today, I gave birth for the second time. Sluggie entered the world at 1:21 am after some thrilling back labour, a doctor with too-big hands, and some frustration with various nurses telling me I was dilated to "5 cm" "7 cm" "4 cm" "8 cm" "6cm" WTF? You can't go backwards! Give me a damn epidural already. Of course I waited too long and it only "took" on one side. The doc (whom I'd never met before in my life) said it was too late to be helped. The anasthaesiologist patted my arm and said in a conspiratorial undertone that he'd get me fixed up anyway. I think I French kissed him at that point. ;)

MuNKi had asked to be able to do as much as he was allowed, so the doc told him to suit up and then he let MuNKi do it all, with the exception of slipping a finger under Sluggie's chin and whisking the umbilical cord off from around her neck.

When only her head was out, Sluggie lifted it up and looked straight at her daddy. Holy crap! That kinda wigged him out a little. Needless to say, she's always been a physically gifted child, LOL! MuNKi caught her exceptionally well - no fumble, no foul. The tips of Sluggie's ears were flat against her head and not rolled down yet, which freaked out my MIL. (MIL and my mom were both in the room for this birth) But Sluggie knows that that's what made her an elf-child, and treasures this tidbit. :)



Wow. Double digits. A decade ago, I was blessed with a second daughter. A smart, witty, quirky, athletic, loving elf-child who has a gift with babies and children and a great bond with all her sibs. Life is good. ^_^

Nervosity

My little boy is testing for his TKD red belt today. He was nervous yesterday and didn't want to test, but I checked him and he knew all the answers and did his blocking sets and forms just fine. He lightened up and I don't think he's even thinking about it this morning.

I, on the other hand, am so nervous that after my shower I almost went out to the car naked to get the hairbrush (left in there after swimming.) And then I thought "Crap! I'm naked."

And promptly almost did it again.

Girly Shit

So I hung out with my friend BG (Boobies Galore - a mutually agreed upon moniker ^_^) and her kids today at the pool and at home, and we laughed ourselves silly over various raunchy things. It was good to have some girly time like that.

When we got to the house, there was a special surprise waiting for us: a catalog called As We Change. I mean, what is that? Clothes? Uh, no. It's a very pansy-assed allusion to menopause. How does one get on these lists?

"Who on earth would wear a bra like that?!" (pick your poison)

This was one of BG's first comments, and I have to say she's right. I mean, sure, if you wanted giant-ass, triple-armoured boobie bags to hold your breastages and nipple hiders, maybe. But you can tell from the models' faketastic grins that they're thinking "I can't believe I'm wearing this monstrosity. How much longer will I be in this hell, and where's my damn check?"

I find the nipple hiders particularly ironic, since other catalogues sell fake nipples to produce exactly the opposite effect. Which is silly, because anyone can tell you that 10 years of breastfeeding can produce this effect for absolutely no money at all. Duh.

Other things they feel I may be desirous of purchasing include:

~ Slimming garments, because I want to look sexy while simultaneously trying to convince men that I have no nipples

~a scarf that has pockets and will clip onto my beltloops, because I'm going to get dementia and either lose track of my scarf (in which I had conveniently stored all or most of my Earthly belongings) or accidentally strangle myself with it if I don't secure it to my person. Then again, with that bra on, strangulation could be just the thing.

~silicone boobie enhancers because I want men to admire my giant-ass, nippleless breasts. The giant-ass bras will hold more cookies, so why not buy a 6 pack?

~Breast lifts that will make my boobs appear to be floating, and additionally move them out to the sides in case I get tired of being able to use my arms. Raising the nippleless area is important.

~a supplement called VasoRect; a word clearly made of the root words "vaso" (blood vessel) and "rectum," which is a root I don't really want to associate with blood

~Plenty of sex enhancement stuff in case I actually bag a nipple-hating man

~a cheese grater for my feet, in case I suddenly need tacos and can't find any dairy products

~ointment and bandages to repair the damage

~a vibrator that looks like a lipstick Considering that I now have dementia, this means that I also own lipsticks that look like a vibrator. I smell trouble. And possibly an awkward explanation at the gynecologist's office.

~"hair removal from head to toe" so I can get rid of the hair that is only going to cause me trouble, and do something about those unsightly Hobbit feet.

~ the FPT, because your physical therapist wants you to have one

and finally, something to boost Brain Power. Counterproductive, IMO. Wouldn't that discourage repeat orders?

Escapism

I'm rounding up the herd and whisking them off to Kensington Park to meet friends and check out the new sprayscape/waterslides. I'm kind of annoyed that it's $3 per person when the sprayscape in Pontiac is free. But this is sooo much closer. And the waterslides look cool.


Could someone please put sunscreen on the silly strip on my lower back for me? I always end up with the stupidest tans. Actually, I think I already have a brown strip there so there's no point in trying. I also have some very odd tan splotches on the sides of my upper thighs. Apparently I'm going for the holstein look.



If we stay long enough, it will be on to the co-op from there, which means that I might just be able to avoid looking at/thinking about the dishwasher for the better part of the day. Hooray for denial!



Update: it's 58 degrees. We're aborting to the Milford pool, for which I still have paid swims. No working on that holstein then, but if they're closed again (stuff like that has happened to us several times there) I'm going to have a cow.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu$%!!

There will be swearing. You have been warned. I've been a potty-fingers all week anyway. If you don't like swearing, now is the time to turn back. Well, after the next 2 paragraphs, more accurately.

Weird night at TKD. I was ranking student except for the Master's wife, who tends to hang out at the back due to ankle injuries, so I was appointed to do warm-ups. Then, after kicks, the Master had me lead everyone in forms while he took the 3 noobs to teach one-on-one (OK one-on-three.) OK THAT is a new one. I goggled at his wife for a moment and she was all "Don't look at ME!" LOL. So I led forms with a walkthrough for everyone for the first times through, and then put them on autopilot for the second. Surprisingly I didn't hose anything up. Yay. I guess teaching the Kid Classes has gotten it firmly ingrained in my head. There were only 3 of us staying for sparring, so we figured we'd get sent home, but it turns out he had us work on paddles, which is really fun. He holds the paddles out in different ways - presenting different targets of opportunity - and we have to react appropriately. Hopefully anyway.

Oh, and I got felt up at class. Sluggie is a total kid magnet and she was holding this adorable 2 year old boy with white-blonde hair. He looks so much like Fishy did at that age. And he turned to me and put his hand right on my boob. G (classmate of squeaker prank fame) was just looking all goggle-eyed, which made me laugh, and I told the toddler "you can get awway with that becase you are 2." ^_^

But on to the fuckitivity. Because frick and frack and frig and all that shit is too mild. We get home from TKD and I notice a puddle on the floor in front of the dishwasher. You know what's coming. I open the door and see lotsa water and suds still in there. Not good. I close the door and latch it again and it turns on again. WTF?? It should have been done hours ago. And now it's pumping steam out from somewhere at the top (right about where that flappy black thing I've never seen before is half falling out of the door) and burning the piss out of my hands. (not that my hands are commonly full of piss, but. . .) Shit. (Ok, no, they're not often full of shit either - well, unless I'm putting shit away, but Efo knows that doesn't happen much. ;) )

Why does the timing on these things always have to be so damn bad?

On a totally unrelated note, I have 90 things checked out from the library, 6 holds, and a $0.25 fine. I do love the library.

Echo Echo Echo. . .

In spite of having 5 kids in the house, it's kinda lonely here now without the Monkey or the MuNKi. I find myself despondently haunting blogs, looking for adult conversation. Damn, am I spoiled or what?



The Naughty Monkey is throwing poo at Amanda's blog. I don't think he liked this pic that much, but I do because you can see what a silly/fun guy he is. :)


Feigning Innocence and grooving with Hello Kitty. He'll probably tell you that's where one of the girls was crashing for the night, but that's really his blankie.


"What have I gotten myself into, and how can I get out?!?"


Yeah, not sure about my face/head there. Wonder where Monkey Boy's other hand is. . . I was probably reliving a Merlin moment or something.

I thought there were more pics, but I guess they're all in my head. Mollusc gets photo credits for the last 2.

Egads!

What a night! :)

Since Egan had a company dinner, I went to my TKD class, but skived off of sparring, thus receiving a rash of shit when people found out why I was cutting out early. Especially with GuTTer MuNKi having just left town.

We finally met up with Egan at around 10pm when he was forced to accept the fact that I wasn't going to be put off by excuses. He was worried about that being late for the kids. Little did he know. ^_^

Since Starbucks was shutting down, and neither of us really felt like spending $ gratuitously on food we didn't need, we decided to head out here to the house. The same house that I had told myself only hours before did not need a frenzied pickup, because it wasn't like we were going to end up here or anything. So, much to my chagrin, the house was (and still is) at pretty much an all-time low, messiness-wise, except for the room pictured in the post below. Egan very graciously assured me that he'd seen worse. Apparently he traveled through Nagasaki back in '45.

The kids and I had planned on watching Merlin and staying up most of the night, as this is becoming a tradition while GuTTer MuNKi is gone. They were determined to start it at midnight or later, so after some comfortable gabbing, the revelation of Sluggie's abysmal lack of US geography knowledge, some playing with Fishy's tornado in a bottle, and the obligatory blogsurf, we fired up the movie. Merlin is a 3 hour movie, and we started it at about 2:45 I think. That will give you some idea of when it finished. ^_^ Egan tucked The Prawn into her floor nest when she finally passed out, and Fishy conked out a little later, but the rest of us managed to keep going, with the aid of coffee and Pepsi. You'd be surprised at the amazing amount of sexual innuendo you can find in that film. I mean seriously. It's rife with "magical growing sticks" and yanking on swords and suchlike. Egan and I giggled like schoolkids through most of the film.

The cats were able to magically sense Egan's famous love for all felinekind, and showered him with kitty love and fur. Even Enya. Enya, who never comes out for new people. Enya, who is terrified at the very thought of strangers. Enya, who decided to rub her teeth on Egan's toes and stomp back and forth across his legs, wave her tail around in his face and settle behind his shoulder on the couch. I think Egan did get a bit of a start when Emmett decided to attack Enya while she was loafing there. She makes really loud noises when that happens.

The light of day was breaking when the movie ended, so it was off to the trampoline to wake Egan up for the drive back to the hotel. The safety net is high, but Egan can jump higher. After I fished the kids out of the woods and splinted Egan's leg, he hopped into his PT cruiser and drove off into the sunset rise.

It was a wonderful day/s. I do have pics, so when the other machine is up and running, I'll put some up. If Egan offers me an appropriate bribe, I'll only put up the ones he liked. If you offer me more, I'll do them all. ;)

Hairrowing

I woke up in a tizzy about meeting Monkey Boy today, and I have nothing brilliant to say. The pictures say it all, anyway, I think.








I want to get rid of the antenna, but MuNKi uses it when he tries to watch a race now and then. Oh well.









And the "Hairrow." ^_^

Angelic

Yesterday was exhausting but fun. I don't think we got any fantabulous pictures, but the show was awesome. The Blue Angels are still my favourite demo team, in spite of my loyalty to the Air Force. :) But I think something was wrong with Fat Albert, because last time that part was a lot more spectacular. I don't think the JATO bottles even lit this time. I saw no fire at all, whereas last time I remember it looking exactly like this. But the Fat Albert part is just the warm up, anyway. And it was still cool.

I've been checking out author Bruce Littlefield's site. His book Garage Sale America sounds like a lot of fun. And with our big sale coming up, it should be inspirational reading. If I can get my hands on a copy, I'll be one step closer to World Domination. ^_^ Be sure to head on over to Blondeblogger's blog and enter her contest!

Nothing earth-shattering pic-wise, but at least you can get the idea. . .

Don't try this at home.


No, realli.

At times, the separation between wingtips is a mere 18". O_O

In other news, it was haircut day for the boys yesterday, and in a bizarre twist on the usual buzz, I cut an arrow into Fishy's hair. Well, out of it. It's like a mowhak, but shaped like an arrow. Think the Avatar with hair instead of tattoos. I'm not sure how long he'll keep it like that, but it's entertaining. Yeah, I know. I should take a picture.

And in spite of making an effort to slow down, I still finished the 6th Harry Potter book last night. Hope I remember all the details when the new one comes out. After all this Pottering, I find weird words popping randomly into my head. Like "bubotuber pus."

Pics of the decluttered room later today.

No, realli. ^_^

Still With the Broken Title Bar

But thanks to Dawn, at least I can use it anyway.

We're off to an airshow for the day. The Littles' room is much, much better. I've removed 2 overflowing boxes of stuff for the garage sale and a trashbag full of garbage, as well as a basket of stuff that belongs elsewhere. But you're going to have to take my word for it for now. ^_^

Yesterday I spent the bulk of the day working on Hogwarts school robes for the crew to wear to the book release party, hence the appalling lack of pictures.

Blue Angels, here we come! :)

The One With No Title


The title bar is broken. At least for me.

I got the littles' room mostly decluttered today.

I'm planning for Christmas already. Anyone else crazy like that? I even have a couple of things for The Prawn already. Of course, they might turn out to be Bday pressies since her Bday is in Dec, but I think this is the earliest I've ever started. ^_^

OK, here are the pics! I have "before" pics today, and will try to take some "afters" tomorrow. :)



I went for max effect by taking "as is" pics before beds were made or anything. Oh the horror! ^_^


Funky lighting due to window. Oh well.










Mollusc is happy to finally get rid of some hated Clifford books! (Shh! Don't tell the Prawn!)


Sluggie is just happy to have her pic taken.


Prawn is happy to have a fun new place to sleep on the floor.


Fishy is a little shell-shocked from a long day.


The girls are giggly because, why not? It's 11 PM or so, which is a good enough reason by itself.


Now we move back in time to the 4th of July. Dear friends of ours gave Mollusc a Slip n Slide as a belated birthday present, and the 4th was the perfect day for it.









Careful! Wouldn't want to get wet or anything. ^_^
(I'll smallen this tomorrow so the sidebar comes back to the top. My Adobe 'puter is off for the night.)




Yeah, he's wearing a plastic grocery bag for "Turbo Boost." And yes, it did fill up with water on the way down. ^_^



Time to play with fire. Because how else do you celebrate the freedom of your country? ^_^







Whew!

Blather

So, I've been looking at possibly selling candles online and at street fairs, etc. The ones I'm looking at are soy/veg, 90% less soot than traditional candles, and all that environmentally friendly stuff that would probably make them a hit in Ann Arbor and the surrounding area. Not sure yet.

Also, I've been checking out Etsy, and will be listing stuff there soon. Be very, very careful about clicking that link. That's the kind of place where folks like Egan might go surfing and get all overcome by a fit of buy-it-for-the-babyitis and drop a ton of dough. ^_^

We Be Jammin'

In the last 2 days, we (and by "we" I mean MuNKi) have produced 30 some jars of cherry jelly and 4 larger jars of cherry jam. Mostly I just helped grab things, squeeze stuff, and pour goo here and there.

We didn't have any fiascoes, and I think all of the jars went "plink." (the noise the lid makes when it sucks down and seals as the stuff cools)

My mission today (should I choose to accept it) is to discern which area bookstore is going to have the ass-kickingest midnight Harry Potter release soirée.

All Shall Be Well

The kids are LOVING that $30 swingset. I'm so happy. :)

And yesterday we went cherry and strawberry picking with good friends, first stopping by our TKD Master's house to see their freshly-hatched baby quail. (OMG sooooooo cute!) One of the babies hatched while we were there. Mollusc (ever-patient and ever-vigilant) stayed at the incubator while we were checking out the progress of all the fruit trees in the yard, and she got to watch him come out of the shell. Wow! :)

When we got home, a bill was waiting for us from the tax man for summer property taxes, and can I just say, "GULP!"

So it's a good thing we splurged on that fun stuff when we did, because it's belt-tightening time from here on out. You know, I don't mind paying for the roads (though it would be nice if they were better maintained) and I don't mind paying for the library (though I pay cash over and above taxes for the priviledge of using our local library) and there are a few other things I find acceptable, but it ticks me off that the people who reassess the value of your house (whenever they find it convenient -- i.e. when they want more $ ) are the ones who stand to gain from that reassessment. So it doesn't matter that houses here in MI don't sell for anywhere near what you paid for them, and that you have to keep your house on the market for at least a year in order to sell it; they still raise the assessment value. :-/

I have a new motto:

"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well." ~St. Julian of Norwich (who, by the way, was a chick.)