Friday, August 24, 2007

If. . .

If we hadn't stayed for sparring, we wouldn't have left an hour later.

If we hadn't left an hour later, and then decided to grab a dvd from the rental place, we wouldn't have met the woman who had walked there.

If it hadn't been pouring buckets, we wouldn't have thought to ask if she had a ride home.

If we hadn't taken her home when we did, we wouldn't have seen that big bump in the turnout lane.

If we hadn't backed up and stopped, gotten out and looked, we wouldn't have known it was still alive. (It sure looked dead!)

If we hadn't flipped that big-a$$ snapper back over and carried it off the road, it would most definitely have been run over again and killed. Of course, when I say "we," I mean that I flipped it over and then, after it tried to kill me, watched from a safe distance as MuNKi braved life and limb to carry it off the road. ^_^

The moral of this story is twofold:

♦ life is a series of choices that all have an impact on something

♦ sparring saves lives. ^_^


ARM said...

Awww! How awesome.

There was a dead snapper on the road on my way to work a few weeks ago. It was sad. And huge.

Isn't there some old farmer's tale about snappers crossing the road in conjuction with high waters? I swear there is.

ann said...

w o w... that's life!

egan said...

Was it a barracuda? Oh it was a fish, how adorable and kind and good.

brookem said...

you saved the day lady!

Gawpo said...

What? I don't get it.

A fish? There was a fish in the road?


ARM said...

People! I'm pretty sure she's talking about a turtle!

Gawpo said...


Well......(Emily Latilla voice:) NEVER MIND.

Thanks, Arm. Boy do I feel dumb. I took that one hook, line and sinker.

Gawpo said...

But aren't they called SnapING tutles? So, why would you refer to it as a SnapPER? Wouldn't you want to call it a Snapping? You know: "That Snapping tried to bit my husband on the finger?"

Gawpo said...

Are they red. By any chance?

ARM said...

Seriously, Gawpo? It's a Snapping Turtle, yes...but it snaps at you (and they are mean). And calling it a snapping doesn't sound near as mean as calling it a snapper.

Shit, I don't know why it's called a snapper. It just is. Everyone calls it a snapper 'round here. I'm just assuming they call it that in MI, too. I'll feel stupid if she wasn't talking about a turtle, but oh well.

One time when I was little I went fishing with my dad when and I caught a snapper. It made my dad scream like a little girl because he thought for sure it was going to pull me into the lake.

ARM said...

And in the case of my fishing story...the snapper is actually a snapping turtle. They get really big around here (that's what she said) and I was a little thing.

Gawpo, go google pictures of snapping turtles. They are not red. Nor are they Red Snapper fish. They are turtles. I swear.

Gawpo said...

Okay then, Arm----does it really snap? Or does it just bite really hard. In order to qualify for snap, it has to make a snapping sound. You know: SNAP! Because, if it merely bites hard, then it needs to be called a Biting Turtle. Or maybe a Pinching Turtle.

Gawpo said...

You actually CAUGHT one!?!? On a hook??? Wow. That would be scary. And yes, I have heard of them, and of how they can snap a broom stick in two. So is that where that modifier comes from? From what they can DO? I would allow for that. But they don't snap everything. Some of the things they Bite or Pinch just get squished, right? Not snapped at all. Like, say, a banana. They wouldn't be able to snap a banana. Unless of course it was frozen. But really solid, like cryogenically or something.

Anyway, I'm glad you didn't get snapped. In two or otherwise.

(hi, candacia! we sorta hijacked yer blog. heh-heh)

tshsmom said...

That's too weird! I've never seen a snapper out of the water.
I'd think they'd be easier to handle on dry land, as they can't whirl on you like they do in the water.

Candace said...

Amanda - It was very cool. :) That's sad about the dead one. :-( I haven't heard the saying, but it wouldn't surprise me.

Ann - crazy, huh?

Egan- I think the wee barracuda ate your brain. I know that happens to moms, but I didn't realise htey could eat dadd brains as well. Must have something to do with the precocious tooth. ^_^

Brookem - we were SO relieved to find he was alive. He was one tough turtle!

Gawpo - something's fishy here.

Amanda - you betcha!

Gawpo - but it was reel fun!

Gawpo - Does a Snaping turtle teach potions class? ^_^

Amanda's right. A Snapping isn't nearly as intimidating as a Snapper.

Gawpo - only the herrings are red. ^_^

Amanda - I totally lost it when I hit the part about your dad screaming like a little girl. OMG! ^_^ Not that I can blame him! I believe I shouted something along the lines of "Holy Shit! When he (the turtle, not your dad) lunged and me and his sharp beak went "SNAP!" And I was even waiting for that, but it still startled me how fast he was.

Gawpo - We have a Sniping Turtle (they have semi-automatic rifles) AND a pinching turtle (they're very frugal.)

Amanda - that IS what she said. ^_^

Gawpo - OMG. *shaking head* that is true Gawpo fashion alright. Hijack away! ^_^ Are you baiting Amanda?

Tshsmom - I've only seen one in the water here. The rest have all been on land. I think they'd be terrifying in the water. Holy crap! They can still whip their heads out and around a lot farther than it seems they should be able to. :-P

GuTTer MuNKi said...

Some clarification is in order. This particular snapping turtle (S/N 34486882, P/N 44828, Size Extra Medium) was, as the size would clearly indicate, about 13" from the front of his shell to the back. Its beak-like unit make a very loud 'Clack!' (yes, including exclamation point) as it whipped its head around. I do believe that it was stout enough to actually sever any of my fingers it got ahold of. Now, as for the MuNKi pic...
While I appreciate the reference, I couldn't carry Steve-o's Jockstrap. Especially if it had a cup. Because his cup would be big enough for me to use as a sledding saucer come winter.

Everyone should take their children outside on a totally calm winter night, when total silence envelops you, and tell them to listen very, very carefully. The sound they hear will be the echoes of Steve Irwin's balls clanking together when he walked. Hell, not even Chuck Norris ever wanted a piece of that action.

Trundling Grunt said...

Oh wow. I must start sparring. Or driving more carefully.

Gawpo said...

Candacia----you ask if I might be baiting Amanda? Heck, I haven't even mastered her!

You've both educated me. Thanks. And the puns KILLED! Good ones, Cand.

egan said...

I'm with Gawpo on this, a turtle? Snappers are fish and not those slow green things. Don't mock me Candace.

ARM said...

Egan...why would a fish be on a road? And how would flipping said fish over save fishes life? Snappers will cut you, bitch. They ain't messin' around.

Candace said...

MuNKi - I think he was bigger than extra medium, but not an XXL like that one in with the crocs at the zoo.

I heard that Chuck Norris is a little bit afraid of you and your Nunchucks. ^_^

TG - or both! Are you saying you've run over a snapper? Were you in the greater Detroit Metro area on or about the evening of last night?

Gawpo - Muahahahaha!! Tit for tat. I'm elated. ^_^ Nice one!

Egan - what is life without a little Monkey Mockery? You think those thing are slow? Come on over and I'll show you slow. Wait a minute. . .

Amanda - I never know when to believe Egan, so now I go with NEVER. It seems safest. No, realli.

Yeah, how WOULD a fish be upside down? Unless it was a(n) halibut or something.

I'm kinda shocked that MuNKi lived through it unscathed, to tell the truth. Must be that black belt. ^_^

radioactive girl said...

I just read this (including all the comments) now, and am laughing out loud at all of you! Good for you for saving the turtle! I think it was a snapping (snapper?) that laid eggs in our backyard almost a month ago. They should be almost ready to hatch, and I can't wait! Hopefully we won't miss it!

Claire said...

I am SO laughing at this story -and the comments! OMG, gutter munki is killing me, cuz I agree with the SI-giant testicular units theory of late night noises. LOL!
Candace, I'm really glad you guys saved the snapper. We don't have them here, but I once saved a very large box turtle from certain road death :)

egan said...

Well, when it rains hard and a road is located near a stream... it's entirely possible to see fish crossing a street. It happens often here in the Northwest which is why Gawpo and I assumed fish. So this time I was completely serious.

Candace said...

Tori - That's cool! I hope you can catch them hatching and maybe snap some pics. :)

Claire - GM has to be right about that. :) You saved a box turtle? Hooray! :)

Egan - Would you like to tell us more about these. . . visions you've been having?? ^_^