Friday, September 29, 2006

Culinary Catastrophe and Not Happy Neck

Short post today because - well, you'll see. :-P

Culinary Catastrophe:
(See how nice I am to you Bloglines people? I was going to make the title clicky, but I didn't just for You.)

So yesterday I thought I'd make pecan bars from this mix I had. I had no eggs (of course) and I should have taken that as the sign it obviously was, but I can be thickheaded sometimes, so I popped out and got some. There were 3 pouches in the box - 1 for crust, 1 for filling and 1 of just pecan pieces. I carefully separated the crust bag from the others, got out the mixing bowl and began preparations. The crust was in the oven and the timer was about to ring, when I found the "crust" pouch - still full - on the countertop. Wha??? I don't really know what happened. I assume it involved putting things down, turning around, picking other things up - or perhaps it was simply that blondeness had come home to roost again. At any rate, what I had in the pan was assuredly uncrustlike - very runny, sugary, almost caramely stuff. What to do? I thought I'd go for the salvage, so I poured the not-crust into a mixing bowl, mixed up the real crust, pressed it into the pan, popped it into the oven and set the timer again.

Now for the filling (AKA the "not-crust.") The butter had separated out by now. Good - it wasn't supposed to have butter anyway. I poured it off. It WAS supposed to have an egg mixed into it, as well as 1/2 cup of water, so I broke an egg into the bowl, added the water and got the whisk out. Uh. No. Not a prayer. It had hardened. Quite a lot. It was like trying to mix slightly melted caramel with, well, anything. In other words, not happening.

Into the bin with that stuff and then it was the Internet to the rescue! I found a recipe for pecan bars, made the filling, and subbed it for the "not-crust." The result was actually pretty good! I'd post a pic, but - well, you'll see. I know - not even a great story. Ultimately, it should have caught fire or something. Don't worry. I'm sure that will happen with something else soon enough.

Not Happy Neck:
(not clicky, just orange)

Tonight was Red-Belt class. I love Red-Belt class. We always get to do something cool. Tonight was no exception. After a battery of cross-step combo kicks (pant, pant!) the Master got out the crash pad and we got to do dive rolls and then backwards shoulder rolls. That, readers, is where I made my fatal mistake. I got cocky. I was having no trouble at all rolling over my right shoulder, but my brain was saying "bet you can't do it over your left, you pansy." So I said to my brain, "Shut up. I might do it wrong and look like a fool." To which my brain replied, (sounding remarkably like Rik) "Scaredy-cat, Scaredy-cat, sitting on the doormat, all the little doggie-wogs will have a little bit. . . of. . .it. . ." And the best I could come up with was "Fine! I'll show YOU, you - you - you Stupidhead!" So I tried.

Stupid brain. Stupid me for caring what my stupid brain thought. Stupid body for fighting with stupid brain about which way to roll (RIGHT! NO LEFT!! NO RIGHT!!!) Reader, they split the difference and took me straight down the middle - right up over my head. My neck bent (begrudgingly) much too far as I rolled, making interesting and somewhat unsettling little cracking noises. "Crick, crick, crick, CRACK," it went. And "pip, pip, pip, POP!"

"Ouch," said I.

For a moment, it was slightly difficult to breathe. For a moment, my chest was hurting a little. For a moment, I thought "That was really stupid." And I kept on thinking it. I am, in fact, still thinking it now.

On the Brightside*, we got to do diving shoulder rolls after that, over a barrier, which was a lot of fun. On the not so bright side, my neck still hurts. On the bright side, it's not, like, totally agonising. On the less-than-bright side, I fear it might not move tomorrow. I am taking arnica. Lots and lots of arnica. I have a hot rice pack on it. I'm going to take a hot bath and read. I am not going to monkey with posting pictures tonight.

On the very, VERY bright side, I got a totally rad package in the mail today! Thanks, ~d!!!!! I HEART you! I'm sure the Hurricane mix will help wash my troubles away. :) And if I'm unable to move tomorrow, I have hours of great tunes to chill to. :)


polyergos said...

I was out in the sun too long and developed bloglines. I hate that.

tshsmom said...

Yup, really stupid. Just as bad as operating a table saw without eye protection. Welcome to my world of stupidity!

Bostick said...

I heard about a kid that got his penis stuck in one of those jets that are in the sides of swimming pools. They had to drain the pool and jack hammer out the area around the jet. Talk about stooooopid!

Toby said...

"I'd post a pic, but - well, you'll see." Well? :)

Candace said...

P - I love you even with those unsightly bloglines.

Tshsmom - hey, at least you had glasses on. I don't really have a good excuse. :-P

Bos - I'm very very glad I didn't stick "my" unit somewhere. So is MuNKi, no doubt.

Toby - well, just the whole feeling too blah to monkey with pics thing. :-P I'm much better now. But also feeling lazy.

ablondeblogger said...

I always love to hear when other blondes do things that they feel stupid about. Makes me feel more normal. :)

Trundling Grunt said...

Ow bugger- sure you weren't channeling Steph?

Candace said...

Ha, Dawn! At least we can use it as a built-in excuse.

TG - oooh! Good Q!

~d said...

Hooray! shout out to ME!
Did we try the Hurricane mix yet?!

Muchas Loveas!

Candace said...

I was going to yesterday. Dunno what happened. Maybe tonight. :-) I DID make the Beignets, though. YUUUUUMMMMMMY!!!!!!