Dear 13-year old boy,
What were you thinking when you asked my second daughter out?
And do you understand that she's not interested?
Dear Narcissus Boy I want to ask just where you saw this going
And did you forget how you singled her out as the youngest kid in class
And punched her in the stomach when everybody laughed at you?
Dear me-show boy is this your lame idea of apology?
Or do you seriously have a crush now on my 9-year-old?
I can't believe you're really crushing on my 9-year-old.
And any talk of dating
Or any talk of relationship
Or any talk of working at this
You'd best be running for the door
(Why why, do you try to love her
Try to love her when she really doesn't want you to?)
Dear hopeless boy you've never really had to suffer any consequence
Did you forget that in another year or two
Your lily ass is gonna be in my own sparring class
Dear insane boy you're used to things coming so easily
You'd best get used to taking "no way" for an answer now
You'd best be thinking how to change yourself
Cuz any talk of dating
Or any talk of possession
Or any talk of working this out
And I will kick you through the door.
With apologies and gratitude to Alanis Morissette