Saturday, March 11, 2006

I'm Going to Make Marshmallows, She Announced

And she was never seen again.

I've had a marshmallow recipe for years and have never tried it. Yesterday, when my friend and her kids were over, we got to talking about marshmallow recipes. "Why?" you ask. Actually, I have no idea, but we did, and today she gave me a copy of hers.

"What the heck?" I thought, "It's looks pretty simple. I'll make it."

It started out easily enough, though I was pretty sure that I'd never get the syrup up to temp. Once it got to about 200 degrees, though, things started moving along and it wasn't long 'til it had hit the target 240. Into the mixer it went, where it was to be whipped until "very thick, about 15 mins." So far so good. It got very thick quite a bit sooner than that, in fact, so I decided it was time to pour the stuff into the pan. I use the term "pour" loosely. Very loosely. Perhaps pictures will say it best:

And then things went downhill.

After that, it was pretty much a lost cause. Every wasted second meant that the stuff was setting up more and getting harder and harder to separate from the bowl. The most unfortunate part was that even when I did separate some from the bowl, it then refused to be separated from the spatula, and then from my hand. Had I, in fact, read the very fine print at the bottom of the recipe, I might have seen the words "May also be used as builder's cement." It was sort of like Silly Putty in that a sharp tug would make it snap while a slow pull would make it stretch. I did manage to snatch one last handful from the bowl and fling it into the pan before admitting defeat. Getting it off my hands was another issue. I finally resorted to:

Desperate Measures

The end result looked decidedly unlike the recipe picture:

and perhaps more like a whale had gotten off in my kitchen.

Sluggie walked in, saw the atrocity, and asked, "What's that?!?!"
Which was a really good question, actually.

What did I do wrong? I suspect that perhaps I whipped it too long. If you know, please tell me. I might try this recipe again. Prolly about the same time monkeys fly out of my butt.


Anonymous said...

This is why I don't cook.

Good lord.

Just...good lord.

I haven't laughed like that in a long time.

I'll ask my mom the trick to her marshmallows.

Notta Wallflower said...

LOL - You look like you had more success than I might have. I think I'll stick to buying marshmallows. :-P

Faltenin said...


Looks like you could use that stuff to fill in the cracks in the outside wall, fix the leaky pipes and maybe, just maybe, make a wicked snowball.

Remind me to check the menu beforehand if ever I come round for dinner...

(I mock but this has reminded me of a bad experience I'd have to blog too...)

Anonymous said...

Your pictures are hysterical!

Candace said...

Hee hee! I knew right away that even though it seemed an abysmal failure, the silver lining was that it would be fun to blog. :o) This benefit, if nothing else, is reason enough to keep a blog, LOL!

Fal, you're right - it was like caulk. Only stickier. :oP As for the snowball - well, it might form well, but one would never be able to throw it. It would be permanantly attached to the maker's hand. ;o)

I'm glad y'all are enjoying my catastrophe as much as I did. :o)

kklgnnc: Help! My teeth are glued together!

Maki said...

"The end result looked decidedly unlike the recipe picture: perhaps more like a whale had gotten off in my kitchen."

Awesome. Just awesome. The picture only sealed the deal.

Never Enuf Thyme said...

ROTF!! Your description is right on the money. I have no advice to offer except maybe by applying the warning message "Do not try this at home." As for my adventures in the kitchen, "cook" and "bake" are four-letter words. So are

make beds (compound 4-letter word)

I have a long list. lol Thanks for sharing this story. :^) ~Su

cyxrmesu: cyxr me su

Egan said...

Jenna's avatar makes me hot.

Candace said...

You and me both. Do you ever find yourself just staring at it? *runs off to cold shower*

tshsmom said...

Martha Stewart's didn't look like THAT!! I haven't laughed this hard in a LONG time. Thanks.
A word of advice...NEVER try to melt the marshmallow mixture for Rice Krispie bars in the microwave!! The marshmallows expand to fill the whole interior of your microwave. I had a mess that looked just like yours!

Candace said...

Heh heh!! Duly noted!!