Sunday, July 23, 2006

Observations, and Things You Find on the Internet

Walking a dog is a lot like flying a kite. That is, if kites weighed a lot more, and chased other kites, and were afraid of sewer grates, and ran away from other kites until the other kite fliers pulled theirs away, at which point your own kite would proceed to make a big show of being "All That" and start dissin' all the other kites. (ditto for approaching trucks and motorcycles)

I did manage not to crash the dog, which is more than can be said for my last kite-flying experience. So really, I guess they're almost completely dissimilar experiences, with the exception of the fact that both have you and another entity pulling against each other on a long string.

Remember back when I was learning to walk? Well, no sashaying for me, now. After Thursday's foot smash, I've developed a very sexy limp. So I've got that going for me. GuTTer MuNKi* also got a major knee to the thigh muscle injury (not from me!) so he's gimpy, too.


And now, Elf porn**


*Why, Mr. Connery? Why??

**"Leatherlas" *giggle* "Legstat" *snigger* I am easily amused.

18 comments:

Jay said...

That was the most amazingly described dissimilar experience ever.

Strow said...

wow. Im in s state on unrest. jays got it right on her comment. It is useless for me to try and figure it out.

great post.,honestly it made me go WTF???

Logophile said...

May I just say, that was some funny ass shit there, kites and dogs, whew.
You slay me

tshsmom said...

It's even MORE fun with a 75 lb "kite"! Aren't you glad you don't have to take cats for a walk? ;)

Egan said...

I'm never clicking on another "GutterMunkee" link again.

Candace said...

Jay, I'm still reeling from the experience itself, let alone attempting to describe it.

Strow, thank you. I think. . .LOL!

Logo, thanks. Maybe you can give me some pointers on dog-walking for next time. Like "never walk a terrier." :-P

TSmom - OMG, I can't imagine trying with a big one. Next time we babysit, I'm buying one of those nose-leashes.

Egan - **cackle cackle cackle** No way could I witness that atrocity and not share my extreme discomfort with all those near and/or dear to me.

Egan said...

Never again.

Slade said...

mmmm orlando bloom is so yummy...for a second I was picturing midget porn, but it is quite different than elf porn! hehe

Jaichan said...

That Connery pic is priceless. Thank you for making me giggle.

Candace said...

Egan, now I can post all the boobie pics I want and you will never, ever see them. Muahahahaha!!!!

Slade, yes, it's QUITE different. I was afraid to click the link when I first found it, but it's quite different than what I feared I might find, LOL!

Jai - is that not the most chunder-worthy Connery picture ever? I mean, the man is HAWT, but even *he* can not pull off that look. I was hoping that maybe it was Photoshopped, and I still hold onto a modicum of hope that it could be, but I fear that it is probably not.

Egan said...

You are correct Candace. I will never see your pasty white boobies, you pert boob.

tshsmom said...

Yeah, the nose-leash works so well that I'm thinking of getting one for L. ;)

Candace said...

LOL, Egan! You make them sound so, uh, appealing. :-P Pert is such a great word.

TSmom - HAHAHAHA!!! :-) I can only think of one place to put it where it might fit, LOL!

Egan said...

Crap, I clicked on that Gutter Monkeyyy link again. Shitfire.

Candace said...

What were you thinking?!?!? Printing off a piccy for your tailor?

I keep going back out of morbid curiosity. I always wish I hadn't.

Egan said...

I can't
shake
the image of
Connery and
his boots

Candace said...

It's permanently etched into my mind. But for you, it seems it's for a different reason.

Jenna Howard said...

Someone's liking Sir Connery and his, um, foxy red diaper a little "too much".

My mom always said Sean Connery would make a sexy corpse. I'm going to make her look at this picture and say "Really? Really mom?" Second thought...I'll let her have her dreams. Bad enough mine are shot to hell because of that picture.