Monday, July 16, 2007

Time for the Quarterly Kitchen Disaster Report

OK, so in actuality, I'm only good at maybe 4 things. It's amazing, really, that MuNKi has held onto me this long. Perhaps he keeps me purely for my entertainment value. Yes, it's time for another Kitchen Disaster Report. ^_^

So Sluggie wanted "Zebra Cake" for her birthday, which made my day, because after 29 birthday cakes, I just kind of dread making them. :-P Zebra cake is simple, though. Piece of -- well, you know.


Who knew that those stupid Nabisco™ wafers would be as hard to find as they are? And also, since when do I read directions? (Just ask MuNKi) I think I got my fill of that whilst fixing expensive aircraft, so now I just like to be free and let it all flow in creative ways, ya know? Usually.

Now the last time I whipped cream, it never ah, stiffened. I hear it happens to everyone, but it had never happened to me before. That's the kind of thing that happens to Other People, you know? In retrospect, this was probably due to the bowl being too warm, but yesterday I thought that maybe I ought to read the directions instead of just beating the stuff indicriminately on high speed.

Lo and behold, the carton directed me to "beat at a low and consistent speed." Yup. So I did.

Can you guess what I made?

It was like living in Little House on the Prairie. I made butter! ^_^

But, yeah, that is not the greatest for gluing together chocolate wafers for zebra cake, so MuNKi had to bring me more cream.

In the meantime, we have some rather sweet butter for our toast and jam.


In other news, we continued our decluttering mission today. This time we worked in the basement, rockin' out to some very inspirational tunage from ~d. (Thanks ~d!!)

Of course, once we found the hula hoops, productivity suffered a sharp decline. ^_^


ARM said...

A true baker doesn't need to follow directions. That's what my grandmother always told me. Sometimes the recipes are missing things. Which is why I embellish my recipes...some of Mr. ARMs favorite baked goodies are the ones where I experimented and change the recipe up a bit. Because the original recipe was boooring!

I have problems with making whipped cream, too. Which is why last year when I attempted to make truffles, I went the easy route and just used pre-made whipped cream. The consistency of the truffles weren't as "truffly", but they tasted just fine and saved me from yelling at the whipping cream carton.

ARM said...

Decluttering is overrated, anyway!! Or so I tell my husband.

Candace said...

I ♥ your grandmother. :) I usually change stuff, too. Directions are boring.

When I went back to the "throw it in Arnold (our mixer) and slap it on high" method, everything worked fine.

I've only made truffles from ganache. Bring a 1/2 pint of cream to a boil, pour it over a box of Baker's semisweet chocolate and let cool. (The important thing is to remove the chocolate from the box and chop it up first. ^_^ ) Then you roll it into balls and roll the balls in cocoa poader or whatever. TRULY decadent.

I like what you tell your husband about decluttering, LOL! We actually had a good time beating each other with foam strips, dancing, hula hooping, and brutally throwing/weeding stuff out. It's just time consuming. :-P

Bonnie Danger said...

You silly silly woman--obviously you forgot the RUM!!!!!

Happy Birthday indeed!!!!

Bonnie Danger said...

P.S. And okay, so yesterday after my oh-so-cheery prattling about being grateful for the small things like not being in shock, I had a VERY pissy day which was all the more pissy because after lecturing on the importance of cheeriness, I didn't even have the luxury of wallowing in my pissiness!!

GuTTer MuNKi said...

Never underestimate the power of your entertainment value!

As for bringing you more cream, well, do I really even have to say it? I think you know where I stand on that.

Candace said...

Bonnie Ds - Oh yes, RUM! What is it about Rum? Good thing I'm not a Pirate. I'd be the Randiest pirate ever. ^_^Then again, maybe I should just become a pirate and go with the flow as it were.

I'm cracking up over your day of pissitivity. Muahahahahaha!! Classic! But, OK, I hope you have a better day today.

Wish yo uwere here. Gogo picked our first sesame leaves of the year and the rice is cooking now.

GM - I don't think I can, given that I've fooled you into hanging around for so long.

Yeah, I was looking for a very delicat balance for that MuNKi pic, but I couldn't find it. ^_^ Speakinawhich, I need more cream.

egan said...

Of all the kitchens I've visited in my 34 years on Earth, yours is easily the cleanest one. Okay, that might be a stretch, but it was full of more love than any other and that's a fact.

Candace said...

You crack me up!

You must have seen the bum prints on the countertop.}:-)

ARM said...

I prefer my truffles with ganache, but...see...I'm really good at baking. Really good. Except with ganache. Ganache and me don't get along for some reason. I always scorch it. No matter what I try - I've purchased new saucepans, double broilers, tried different heats. But I always ruin the ganache. So I went the whipped cream way.

Candace said...

Oh no! Well my way may or may not be the "right" way, but it seems to work every time. It's very pedestrian. (though I have been known to get distracted (what ME distracted??) and let the cream boil over.)

1)chop up chocolate, tasting some to make sure it's not poisoned

2)pour cream in a little pot and put on a burner turned to high or med high

3)as soon as it bubbles - not just the tiny bubbles at the very edge, but a little more than that, take it off the burner and pour it over the chopped chocolate (which you have hopefully put into a bowl)


I think it's foolproof. Well, duh, since I can make it, it must be! ^_^

egan said...

Yes, I saw the bum prints and a whole lot more. Be thankful I didn't notice more when I was in the bedroom of sin.

Candace said...

I have been thankful for that every day since you came. ^_^ You didn't even see Mad-Eye Moody's trunk. I almost showed it to you, since I've mentioned it here. Just the outside.

Ah, but that woulda been lost on you anyway.

What a shame.

egan said...

No, it wouldn't have been lost on me. Now, I demand you send me photos of the trunk. Remember, I know where you live. Don't be surprised if you wake up some morning to me bouncing around on your trampoline.

ARM said...

hmmm...ok. I was adding the chocolate to the cream instead of the cream to the chocolate. THAT might be my issue. Ok, must try another ganache recipe soon!

Mad-eye trunk? You ahve a Mad-Eye trunk?? AWESOME!

Candace said...

Efo - Fine, please explain in 40 words or less who Mad-Eye Moodi is, and the significance of the trunk. If so, I will send you pics.

Amanda - AHA! You must try again then. :) The cream is so hot, that the chocolate melts without any probs at all, and thus doesn't scorch. :)

Well, we call it Moody's Trunk because - wow I thought I would have a link to a post for this, but maybe I HAVEN'T talked about it here. Wow.

OK it's a locking trunk full of whatever you might want to lock away from, say, prying eyes. Thing is, I've heard the children discussing on more than one ocassion their idea of "breaking Moody out of the trunk." Gulp. O_O

ARM said...

I can't wait to hear Egan's take on Moody and the trunk.'s one of those trunks. Those are my favorite kind of trunks. And you do realize that the chances of "breaking Moody out of the trunk" increases as your kids get older, right? Does Mollusc ever get to babysit?

Claire said...

Now just what is a zebra cake? Is chocolate involved? I love to bake, but unfortunately I also like to eat it. So to stay on this side of ginormous, I must abstain, except for holidays when I bust out the Kitchen Aid and do a baking binge. (Also a good time cuz the manchildren are usually around then and they eat A Lot)

Trundling Grunt said...

Viagra. Would have solved the whipping problem. Easy.

Mr Happy started turning out his closet. And then he found his comic books. And then he stopped turning out his closet. Well, I guess he started at least...

Candace said...

Amanda - I too await his utterances with bated breath. Will he bother to do some token research, or make something up on the fly? What do you think?

Haha yes, one of those trunks. I think I've put them off by saying that we store presents in there (they actually do NOT want to find out about presents early) which I do with token presents at least. ^_^ Yeah, thedanger does increase manyfold. :-P

Claire - I took pics of the assembly. I'll do my best to get them up. :)

I hear mancubs eat like animals. ^_^

TG - Do I have to take it? Or do I grind up the tablets and sprinkle them on the cream? I bet you're right. The question would be, would we be in danger of experiencing a malfunction, like, say, cream that gets too hard, and won't soften when you try to eat it. Ahem. Well.

Mr Happy would be in very good company here. Mollusc found some old drawing s and papers today and I had to threaten her with random treasure tossage to get her on task again. ^_^

Diesel said...

You make me laugh.

I liked your caption, btw. Tough competition this week though...

Candace said...

Thanks. ^_^

Very tough. The kitten one, Tina's, the clown one -- and yours made me snort! ^_^