Sunday, May 21, 2006

The Woeful Tale of the Inconstant Gardener

some sort of flower, May, 2006


Once there was a woman who thought that she would like to be a gardener - not full-time or anything; she just thought it would be lovely to be able to grow things. Besides weeds, that is.

The woman ordered a reasonably large quantity of plants, most of which arrived in very good condition. She smiled as she planted each baby flower and bush, imagining how they might look when they grew up, while not quite believing that they ever would. Nonetheless, she tucked each one carefully into its bed, talked to them all a little bit, telling them to grow strong, and gave them plenty of water.

As the sun and rain fed the little plants, she smiled to see their progress - to see how the floppy, somewhat wilty ones were strengthening and beginning to stand tall, how the hardier ones were reaching higher than ever and how their leaves looked robust and healthy. She touched the lavender leaves and inhaled their wonderful fragrance. She looked upon her garden beds and saw that all was Good.

A little time lapsed between the planting and the time when the woman saw that weeds were beginning to thrust their tops up through the thick layer of mulch around her babies. Some of her little ones had been mere bulbs and rhizomes when she put them to bed, and she was honestly surprised to see that they were, indeed, sprouting as they should. Determined to rid their safe little beds of the intrusion of nasty, nutrient-sucking, sun-blocking, earth-crowding weeds, she began pulling out the interlopers with vehemence. And then she saw it. A plastic wire tie, sticking out of the dirt where she had just rid the earth of a particularly tenacious weed. A plastic wire tie that had been marking the planting spot of one of her baby rhizomes. Yes, Reader, the woman had ripped one of her babies out of the soil. And not cleanly. Not in an "oops, I can put you right back in" sort of way, but in a rather violent, leaf-ripping, root-twisting sort of way.

Reader, she wept. She put the twisted remains of the little plantie back in the dirt, noting that there was still a bit of root and a leaf or two attached, that there was still a sizeable quantity of root left in the ground with a leaf or two of its own. She hoped desperately that the poor little plantie-poo might survive, but only time would tell. . .

16 comments:

jackt said...

I just have a guy named Jose deal with all of that. And good thing because if I tried to do it myself I'd be hanging out in a big dirt lot full of weeds.

kitkat said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels sad about plants.

I do like the "some kind of flower" above.

Candace said...

Jack - you are way smarter than me. :-P I have a lot of weeds, LOL!

Kitkat - I'm glad I'M not, too! :-) That might be some kind of anemone but I realy don't know. I think it cam up from a bulb I planted a year or 2 ago. :-P

Logophile said...

Candace, I have some pink flowers too! and some purple ones, and there are some yellow ones that appear to sprouted from bulbs.
Some day perhaps I will learn what they are, but not today, and not tomorrow either, busy trying to finish up some Miquon math and some other stuff before summer...sigh

Candace said...

LOL! We are birds of a feather! :-)

Whoa - are you homeschoolers too? How did I miss that?!?!

Karen Little said...

It happens, sometimes, you know? Like when you sit on your kid, or accidentally put your cat in the oven... I mean, everybody's done that, so don't feel so bad.

Funny post!

Niel said...

Everyone that gets into gardening, really gets into it. Is it something about the pollen that seductively entices you to sneeze, or the outrageuos lusciousness of a sprouting leek?

how do gardeners get that way?

Candace said...

Thanks Karen, ROTFLOL!! Sit on your kid! OK, I've likely done that. I have certainly both pushed my child out of a swing ("Higher, Mama, HIGHER!!!!!!") and pushed the swing out from UNDER the child (can't win.)

Niel - I dunno, but I've noticed that, too. And I wonder how long it takes to get to that point? I think I'm too lazy. I've tried to become successful, but I haven't gotten all consumed by it yet. As evidenced by my careless slaughter of baby plants. :-P

I bought a bunch of diff coloured pepper plants today. MMmmmmmm! Can't wait for those to fruit. And some black-eyed Susans cuz they were waaaaaay cheap, LOL! I think the price sucked me in more than the plant, but it's hard to tell.

Slade said...

awww, I am a total plant person too and i would have wept as well.

congrats on the new belt!!! Awesome! and I like your new pic too

Egan said...

Your new profile picture frightens me.

Trundling Grunt said...

That's the problem with perennials - I always forget where the heck I (or SWMBO) planted them. So, come the next Spring I glyphosate them :-|

Veg are easier as they're only annuals on the whole. I started a blog and will get a post of the current state of the garden when I can get a couple of things sorted.

Candace said...

Egan, I'm sorry. I'll try a unicorn or kitten next, shall I? Or is it athlete's foot you fear? I have none right now, so you are safe. :-)

TG - Who's SWMBO? OH! I got it! She Who Must Be Obeyed, LOL! Nice one! Glyphosate - I had to look that up. MMmm- brought to you by the people brought you Aspartame™. *coughpoisoncough* Yummy!! I thought it was a word for "planticide" - well, basically I guess it is.

I saw that you started a blog, but alas, when I tried to read it there were no posts. Are there now? I shall have to check! I can ALWAYS use more garden tips and/or inspiration. :-)

Jenna Howard said...

This is why I don't garden. I'm surprised one of my twigs is still alive. The other...got sick and died. I should really remove it from the pot. Sigh. I tried.

Candace said...

Hey, one is 100% better than none! There might be a way to make #1 come back to life, but I don't really know. Rooting powder? Maybe TG can help.

I once had an African Violet that somehow survived FOUR YEARS in my house and then it finally flowered! Shortly thereafter, Ennie (grey kitty) decided it was a lovely bed. Gone!

polyergos said...

I once had a green thumb, but it wasn't from gardening.

Ah, to be young and tissue-less again...

Candace said...

Oh, eeeew! Took me a moment or two, but eeeeeeew! LOL! :-)