Tuesday, May 30, 2006

You Should Have Bought a Squirrel!

I got to hold the wee baby again today. He's cute, in spite of his freakishly long toes. ;-) But then another mom wanted him, so I handed him off. His little downy head is so soft, and his little bitty arms are just the right kind of chubby. And then I found out that the mom to whom I handed him off had had a miscarriage in Feb. How awful. I can't imagine the pain. And you know what? MOST of the women I know IRL have had a miscarriage. How absolutely sucky. What gives? Have they always been so prevalent? Maybe we know we're pregnant earlier, so we now identify a m/c that would otherwise have gone undetected. My mom, my sis, one SIL and I are the only women I can think of who I know have never miscarried, and of those, only 2 of us have ever been pregnant. (me and my mom obviously) I know far more women who have.

Sorry to get all depressing there. It just struck me as weird. And sad.

OK, on to happier things. How about films? I was raised Seventh-Day Adventist until about the age of 12, and that means, among other things, NO MOVIES IN THE THEATRE! Although we did all sneak to Star Wars when I was 10 - first ever theatre movie, and let me tell you, it made quite an impression (well, duh.) After we left the church, my dad became a total movie-junkie and I think I've inherited some of that. To steal and warp something Trundling Grunt said, I tend to like films rather than Films. In fact, if "the guys shaped like the number 10" (thank you David Letterman) liked a film, it was a pretty sure thing that I wouldn't.

Here are some of my favourite films, none of which are highbrow in the slightest way:

Super Troopers
This one never fails to make me laugh. Broken Lizard is brilliant (well, if you don't count that whole Club Dead thing. Bleh. Oh and Puddlecruisers. Ah, OK, this is the only one of theirs that I love, but it's brilliant!) The syrup chugging contest, the steel cup test on the firing range, "Will you move that gigantic cotton candy?!?!" Oh - too many quotable lines. . .

Captain Ron
Ah, Kurt Russell. :-) Just a fun all around movie. "Gue, Go - HUGE difference!" "Angeline's no cretin, Boss, she's a Puerto Rican." "A shark ate your EYE?!?!? COOL!!" "Ahhhhh! The Pirates of the Carribean!!" "Would you please back off!I lost my eye, man!"
A friend told me that Kurt Russell was embarrassed by this film. I hope that's not true. I think it's my favourite film of his.

The Thomas Crown Affair
Dh knows he's gettin' some every time I put this one in. TMI? Love his character, love her character, love the twists, cringe every time he "folds" the Monet up in his briefcase, LOL!

The Boondock Saints
Yummy twins, comedy, action - but not so gory as a lot of shoot-em-up-bang-bangs these days - no slo-mo flying blood and all that. Never heard of it til SIL introduced us. Thank you SIL!

Bridget Jones's Diary
OMG - British boys fighting in such a namby-pamby way!!! (don't worry, British boys, I know you fight much better than that, but OMG, LOL!) Oh no. Please don't let me have offended the greater part of my male readership. Please. *crosses self* I will do penance if required.
I love Bridget's insecurities, failures, foot-in-mouths and triumphs. :-) Possibly even more than that, I love the whole P&P parody thing right down to Darcy and "Pemberley Publishing." I love "congealed green gunge" and the Tarts and Vicars party. I love the emailing with the short skirt and sheer blouse bit. I will admit that I love a lot of Hugh Grant films. (Notting Hill, 4 Weddings and a Funeral, Two Weeks Notice, etc.) Have you lost all respect for me now? A lot of people seem not to like him. Mostly men though. . . Are they threatened by his sheer manliness? OK, I thought not, LOL! I'll take a funny man over a stud-muffin any day of the week. Anyway this film brings me to. . .

Pride and Prejudice
"Vapours Man" BBC version, of course, because only the Brits can do something like this up right. You would be surprised how many homeschooling moms are in love with Colin Firth/Mr. Darcy. (why do I always want to write D'Arcy??) Unless you are a homeschooling mom yourself, LOL!

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Ha HA! How's THAT for a change of gears? (Oooh I can hear them grinding. Yes, Toby, grinding, LOL!) Um, I've gotten distracted now. . . Oh yes - "And why's the carpet all wet, Todd?" "I don't KNOW Margot!" "SQUIRREL!!!!" "Gone!" "If I had a rubber hose I would BEAT you right now." "I couldn't be more surprised if I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet." "Not that I have a log. At least, not in the sense that you think I said I did."

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Well, duh. It's me here after all. IMO there's something to love about each incarnation of this story. Gotta love the little lightsaber that toasts bread as you slice it. The flyswatter scene - "What do you think, Arthur." "I think. . . wait - what do you think, Zaphod?" WHAP! "Oh freddled gruntlebuggy thy micturations are to me as plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee. . ." (close? too lazy to Google it) The POV gun cracked me up, too. :-) This is already an "old classic" in my book. I should add here that I'm not going to include super obvious films such as SWars, Monty P, etc. because they are just painfuly obvious choices BUT. . .

A Fish Called Wanda
has to make the list because, believe it or not, there are people out there who have yet to see it and I will pimp it any way I can! Otto - the man you love to hate or hate to love - ahhhhh. :-) "Speak it, speak it!!!" "Linguini, con spinache, le due cupele grande" (however it's spelled) "Well, Mr. Manfredjensenjen. . ." "Don't touch him! He's MINE! All mine!" "Oh look, it's K-k-k-ken, c-c-c-come to k-k-k-kill me!" "Canis mortus est. . ." "Ken! Someone just called!" "What was that middle part again?"

OK how about one more for a nice round ten? Oh dear. That's always hard to choose, isn't it?


I only want to sing, sing, SI - 'ere we'll have none o'that. But I can't watch this without singing it for DAYS and WEEKS afterward. And just YUM! Hotness, singgyness, actionness, romanticness, ok and a side of tragic ending, LOL!

Ha! not done yet cuz the Dune Minis - both Dune and Children of Dune have to squeeze in. I don't like the way Newman does Paul all petulant in Dune, but for the most part I really like the rest. For me they bear up to repeated viewings. :-) NOT to be confused with 1984 Dune. *shudder* In spite of yummy Sting being in there.

Oh no! I forgot Rat Race. For some reason John Cleese tends to appear in films with weak endings (like Holy Grail), but I still love this one. :-) The Barbie Museuem, "Are you CRAZY?!?! This is Hitler's car!" Oh, too many quotables to even get started on. "We came in the rocket car!" "Shoulda bought a squirrel!"

Got some favourite titles to share? Oh crap - have I done this before? Oh well, better pull the trigger. . .


Jenna Howard said...

Rat Race, huh. I like the Westjet shot at the beginning because nothing says America like the Calgary headquartered airline. Boo-yah! And then the bus tire's rolling down the hill and my head tilts to the side and I go "That's not New Mexico...that's Highway 22X!" Although Cleese did have kick ass teeth.

Bridget Jones. Oh. My. God. I howled in that movie. Hated the book. Thought I'd hate the movie but I laughed. Granted I think I am Bridget Jones and that just bums me out. Where's my Mark Darcy, huh? Where?!? That was the best fight sequence...evah. And the song "It's Raining Men!" Crowning touch.

Speaking of Crowns. Two words for Thomas Crown Affair: Hot. Damn. Pierce Brosnan's naked ass. Hot. Damn. Just...Hot. Damn.

I need to charge up the DVD player now.

jackt said...

Er...this post brought to you by stream-of-consciousness Robin Williams, the female version. Sans Ridalin. ;) Thanks for the fun/ny post!

Candace said...

Jenna - OMG those teeth were a RIOT!! Obviously you need to go to an annual turkey curry buffet if you're to find your Mark Darcy (swishy reindeer "jumper" and all :-) ) Heh. Does Pierce do his own ass work? "Mel does his own ass work. And why wouldn't he?" LOL!

Jack - Wow, you said it, dude. I was running totally dry last night and just started drooling thoughts into the keyboard. Glad you liked it. :-)

~d said...

*abt the miscarriages, I too know far too many women IRL that have had one. I never have. I have been knocked up twice-I have 2 kids. My heart goes out to them as well.
As for your movie list, I can't believe this but the Thomas Crown Affair is the only one I saw. However I did see both versions-! (curious to know more abt 7th day Adventist...)

Egan said...

What, no photos on this post?

Jaichan said...

Hahaha, Christmas Vacation. My dad OWNS it and we watch it every Christmas. I love it, but my favourite Christmas movie is 'Scrooged'.
You were raised Seventh Day Adventist? So was my friend, and she apparently could speak in tongues.
Yeah. She had a lot of therapy when she hit her 20s.

Logophile said...

Good choices, I would definitely have So I Married an Axemurder on my list.

Candace said...

Holy cow, ~d!! Just that one?? OK, I want to see *your* movie list!! :-) Oh - so much to say on that other subject, LOL!

Egan - can you believe it? how depressing. I even trolled my old online album pics, but nada, zip, zilch, nuttin. Hey I know! You can send me a pic and I'll blog around it. Actually, I did take some pics today. Whether or not they'll be useful, is yet TBD.

Jai - Ooh Scrooged! I have only seen it once but I LOVED the part where Carol Kane bashed Bill Murray with the toaster, LOL! Speaking in tongues? Whoa! I don't think that's standard SDA (not for any of the churches I went to anyhoo.) Wacky! Ah, who needs therapy? I'd rather be a nutter (obviously, LOL!)

Logo - Oooh another one I've only seen once, but also the fave movie of a dear friend of mine, which IMO is totally out of character for her, LOL! My fave line "We've go' a paiper dewn!!" :-D

~d said...

I will try my hardest-you know, a special movie list just for you. And to think I may have only seen your foot and not visited it!

Egan said...

How can I send you pictures Candace? I don't even know that Candace is your real name. I'm a technophobe.

Toby said...

I don't know the stats, but the U.S. with all our money and technology does have high rate of infant mortality relative to other 1st world nations.

My favorite movie of all time is Conan the Barbarian. It has nothing to do with the douche bag Arnold.

Second is Star Wars. I thought I was bad ass after seeing it about 15 times. Then I heard about some old guy in California who saw it 100 times and then the theatre began letting him in for free. I'm surprised it isn't on your list, Candace. Or were you only shooting for low brow favs?

Toby said...

How much did movies cost in 1977? $2.50?

Candace said...

Egan - hit reply on the Code Monkey song email and attach a picture, LOL! Yeah, you're a technophobe who hates Starbucks and people who speak French, LOL!

Toby - Do they count miscarriages as infant mortality? Or is that over and above the m/cs? I suspect the latter.

I've never seen Conan if you can believe that. SW - there's a disclaimer worked into the description for H2G2 about SW and Holy Grail being so obvious there was no point in including them, LOL!

YK, I don't know. My parents paid when we went back then (well in '79 and onward) Probably something like that. Wow, huh?

Toby said...

Sorry Candace, I didn't read through all your descriptions. Mortality was used because I didn't know how to describe it better with out going on some long boring comment. You're right, mc's are not considered "infant mortality," but the stats I'm refering to are broken up into different categories, mc's being one, and the U.S. has a very high rate, if not the highest.

I read about it not too long ago, if I remember right, the professionals are baffled. There are so many factors to consider and it's a relatively new phenomenon.

Egan said...

Crapola, you know me way too well Candace. I'm going to have to do something about this. Sleep with one eye open I say.

Trundling Grunt said...

Have to agree that films are better than Films. So where do our lists coincide....

Bridget Jones Diary - no, they had it spot on. Middle class Brit men (like Marcus) fight like that. It was spot on (and bloody hilarious). If you want a treat that most Americans miss - there's a scene where Bridget is deserted and she's eating something directly from the jar. That's Branston pickle - a relish, I guess. When I went to see this with SWMBO and LSWMBO we all groaned out loud at that point and everyone looked at us very oddly.

Pride & Prejudice - yes the latest version is a pale imitation of the Firth classic.

Christmas Vacation - compulsory watching here each Xmas too. Along with Love Actually.

HHGTG - it was ok, but I had my images of this too coloured by the book, radio and TV versions. The Vogons were good, though!

I'll have to reciprocate when I've had a few....minutes to think.

Candace said...

Toby - ahhh, OK. I wonder if it's partly because so many American women are waiting until they're older to have their first children. But there's likely a lot more to the story as well.

Egan - Muahahaha! Where's my bloody picture? Humph.

TG - Hahaha!!!! I'm going to totally believe you unless Marcus comes along and defends himself. Hee hee!! The Branston Pickle - that's like when Dh saw "Something About Mary" in Sweden and Brett Farve came on. He started laughing his bum off (he's from WI and we're big Packer fans) and everyone looked at him very oddly. :-) I don't think I ever tried Branston Pickle, but I remember Bird's Eye custard and Lyle's Golden Syrup. Mmmmmmm. Actually, the mmm is only for the syrup. I never really liked the custard as a kid. Not sweet enough, LOL!

Oh I Actually Love Love Actually, too. (ooh a palindrome!)

Can't wait to read your list! :-)

~d said...

~d's movie list:
ok these are my favs today-I am not to be held responsible for these choices tomorrow

1. Search For One-Eyed Jimmy, a rare weird movie with Steve Buscemi and John Tuturro (sp)
2. Cool Runnings
3. The Nightmare Before Christmas
4. Pulp Fiction
5. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
6. Usual Suspects
7. Rope
8. Fargo
9. Miracle on 34th street
10. Casablanca

polyergos said...

Hey, that's a great list. Remember these movies:
Grease, Annie, The Pirate Movie, The Never Ending Story, The Dark Crystal, Xanadu, Two of a Kind, Goonies, War Games, D.A.R.Y.L., Short Circuit?

It's funny you should say that Candace, the first movie I ever saw was Star Wars! But when they re-released it in 1978. I was probably around 4 years old, and I went with my dad. I remember getting chills with the whole Death Star run. It was awesome. I never saw Empire in the theatre, eh? I only watched it on pan and scan video for the first time in the late 80s!! :)

Candace said...

Whoa ~d - we have pretty vastly differing movie tastes w/ the exceptions of #s 3 and 5. I'm no good with gore. Funny, eh? Monty P is the universal language of film fans everywhere, LOL!

P - wow - I need to see a bunch of those again and a few for the 1st time. Yeah - when I saw SW it was the re-release, too. Dude, was that not THE BEST EVER MOVIE to see as a cine-virgin?? :-D Never saw Emp in the theatre?? After New Hope I was dying for it to come out! But you can see it in the theatre when they do the 3-D release. (isn't it a 3-D release they're planning for all 6?)

polyergos said...

That's a good question. I'm not sure if it's going to be all 6. 30th anniversary for Ep 4 next year...don't know if he would skip up to 4, so it makes sense that he would release all 6? I mean he has the money, he could do it in select theatres....! We'll see....