Saturday, February 18, 2006

Abject Failure


Hello, and welcome to the blog of the current Forgetful or Negligent Mama of the Year Award (FONMOTY) holder.

Last night at TKD, Fishy's tooth was so loose and crooked that he looked like a hillbilly. One of the other boys suggested using a paper towel to grab it (for grip) and Fishy wanted me to try. Me? Pull out my baby's tooth? *cringe* It's not the pulling of the tooth that gives it the cringe-factor, it's the possibility of causing my baby pain that gives it cringe-factor. Nevertheless, he was adamant, so I tried: wiggle, wiggle and then with a tiny bit of a boot-getting-freed-from-squelchy-mud feeling, it was OUT!! Having pulled the tooth out myself, you'd think I'd have remembered to be the tooth fairy last night, but you would be wrong. Aaaargh!

So sometime after we were all up this morning, (well, all except John) he announced, "I'd better go check under my pillow!"

Aaaaaack! No time to beat him there! What to do?

I ran into our room, urged John to get his butt up, asking where he might have any money, and suddenly remembered the envelope of cash from teaching private lessons. Yes! I grabbed a $5 (hey, my kids don't get an allowance, so this is a major source of income, LOL!) and shoved it under the pillow he'd been using in MY bed. (He nearly always makes an entrance at around 2 or 3 am.)

Fishy came back downstairs with his baggie of tooth and somewhat dismally announced, "All I found was my tooth." So of course I asked, "Did you look under your pillow?"
"Did you look under the pillow where you were sleeping last?"
A look of hope crossed his features and he ran to my room, fished under the pillow and triumphantly brought forth the $5 bill. Whew! Of course that doesn't explain missing the tooth, but he knows it's us anyway, so I guess all's well that ends well.

Previous holders of the FONMOTY Award have been cited for such neglectful behaviour as (2005) accidentally locking the baby in a running car at the gas station (not me), (2004) "losing" the baby whilst actually nursing her (OK, that one was me), (2003) Failing to call any child by their own name (and not a sibling's) on the first try for the entire year, and (2002) giving her child the green light to play with matches when he asked while she was on the phone. (not me -- I think -- I forget. . .)

I'd describe the Award, but I can't remember what it looks like.

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