Monday, March 13, 2006

Corny Jokes and Barbie Wars

I've heard a few corny jokes at TKD lately. Usually during warm-ups the puns start flying. But for some reason it was joke night the other night and we had to re-tell them all to the punniest guy tonight since he had missed them.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
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A gummy bear!


What goes "clop, clop, clop, BANG, BANG, clop, clop, clop"

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An Amish drive-by shooting. (no offense to all my Amish readers. ;o) Get it?? ) Can Amish people use guns? Is there, like, some kind of cutoff date for which technology is accpetable and which isn't?


Oooh! I remembered the last one!

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitaran eat?!?!?!?

Got any corny jokes? I'll be a hero at TKD. If I can remember them, that is. . .

A rather shocking (or at least highly surprising) Barbie post on another blog combined with my having read a post about feminism on a different blog made me think of the whole Barbie wars tonight. I played with Barbie as a kid, and I never ONCE, EVER wanted to look like her. I was a total tomboy. (Yes, I realise this is hard to reconcile with the whole playing-with-Barbies thing, but there you are.) I liked all her cool little gadgets - cases that actually *opened* and tiny little things to stash inside them and take back out again. (Maybe I was channelling Eeyore.) I had a Ballerina Barbie that could do the splits, high kick (OK now I'm thinking in TKD terms - um lift her leg really really high - what's that called?) even bend her knees (click, click, click - oddly enough my left knee DOES click now when I bend it, but this is never something to which I've aspired. :-/ )

When my girls were born, I had forgotten - completely forgotten - how much fun Barbie and I had had together. I'm sorry to say that I totally bought into the whole Barbie-bashing mentality without even giving it a second thought. My first wasn't interested in Barbies, being more a stuffed animal-loving child, so it wasn't until my second professed - oh horror - an interest in the plastic pal that's fun to be with (oh wait, that's Marvin) that I had to come to terms with the issue.

It's easy to bash something that everyone else bashes for seemingly righteous reasons. It's using your brain and, if logic dictates, flying in the face of popular opinion that should be respected. But alas. Making a conscious decision to purchase Evil Barbies (made in China by slave labour, and sporting unnaturally idealistic body proportions and decidedly non-thrifty clothes collections that will surely warp my daughters' self-images - oh did I mention? - turns out #1 likes them, too) has forever doomed me to live in the "sellout" category.

On the other hand, I get bonus points from John for buying pregnant Midge (with removable Communist plastic belly *snickersnort*) because he thinks she's hot. ;o)

8 comments:

Dr.John said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog. Without it I wouldn't have goten to read yours . Mow my poor wife has to listen to those horrible jokes.
My grand daughter, the one who beats me at Canasta loves Barbie so we have also sold out or is that bought out.

GuTTer MuNKi said...

Midge isn't just hot . . .

She's ssssmokin'

In some ways, she's got a bit of the Rodin (as in August) thing going on. The are curves there that just don't exist on Barbie.

And, for the Wench:
gicuqxj: a hiccup ending in a sneeze.

Jay said...

I can never ever remember a joke 30 seconds after it's told to me. It's a cross that I must bear.

I played with barbies as a kid...in fact, since we were 4 girls, we had over 500 of them at one point. Did I want to look like them? Not once.

Egan said...

Oh that Barbie post was something else. It will never ever leave my head. See, I can't even comment on the rest of your post because that shot of Barbie spelunking is stuck in my brain.

Egan said...

Hey, I don't see any skateboards in this post. Phew.

kitkat said...

Maybe the Amish just use bayonets. Then again, who'd want to mess with the Amish?

I never wanted to look like Barbie. I basically just wanted to act out sexual fantasies between her and Ken. I was a horny little kid.

tshsmom said...

I learned to sew by making clothes for Barbies. I also made egg carton furniture and cardboard box houses for her. So I guess Barbie CAN be creative.

Candace said...

Dr. J - thanks for stopping by. I hope you get loud groans from those jokes. :o)

LD - So do you like Rodin cuz his sculptures remind you of Midge, or vice versa?

Jay - I suck at remembering jokes. It took me an hour or 2 to remember the humanitarian one so I could edit and add it. *rolleyes*

Egan - I may never look at Barbie the same way again. Ack! And yes, I left this post skateboard-free particularly for you.

Kitkat - I don't think any of us would feel comfortable messing with the Amish. After all that manual labour any one of them could kick all of our butts! Ha! Humping Barbie. Comes with "personal lubricant," 3 special toys, and "safety" precautions. Mine got it on, too. :oP

TS - Barbie has spawned a lot of creativity! There are long-running Epics at our house and Barbie has had many, many jobs and adventures.

aigpok: I got poked!