Sunday, December 18, 2005

.Phantom Menace of the Opera, Part the Seventh

10 points to the house/lair of your choice if you can identify the other lines. :o)

INSTALLMENT VII

CHORUS/CANTINA CROWD
Here the sire may serve the dam, here the master takes his meat! Here the sacrificial lamb utters one despairing bleat.

CARLOTTA AND CHORUS/CANTINA CROWD
Poor young maiden! For the thrill on your tongue of stolen sweets, you will have to pay the bill- tangled in the winding sheets! Serve the meal and serve the maid! Serve the master so that, when tables, plans and maids are laid Don Han triumphs once again!

PASSARINO
I your truly faithful friend will once again recite the part. Your young guest believes I'm you- I, the master, you the art.

DON HAN (SOLO)
(silent – he’s still frozen in carbonite)

PASSARINO
When we met, I wore your cloak, she could not have seen my face. She believes she’s all alone in her master's empty place! Furtively, she’ll scoff and quaff, stealing what in truth is yours. When it's late and modesty slips with wine and petit fours –

(dramatic pause)
-“you” come home! I use your voice- slam the door like crack of doom! You shall say, "Come hide with me! Where oh where? Of course my room!"

DON HAN (SOLO)
(does nothing)

PASSARINO
(putting his hand to his ear)
She comes!
(exits)

AMINTA (CHRISTINE) comes onstage with a duster and walks over to HAN SOLO. She dusts him and the blinking lights on the side of the carbonite block catch her eye. She studies them. Finally, tentatively, she pushes a pulsating red button. The Carbonite starts to dissolve. A bright white light shines out from within, and then HAN falls into CHRISTINE’S arms, shaking violently. CHRISTINE screams and stares at him.

HAN
(shivering, stammering)
Wha - What’s happening? I c-can’t see.

CHRISTINE continues to hold him, staring at his face. She gently smooths his hair away from his face and gazes at him, entranced.

HAN
Who are you?

CHRISTINE
Someone who loves you.
(lowers her face to his and kisses him)

PHANTOM roars with rage offstage. CHRISTINE stiffens and gasps, clutching HAN even closer.

HAN
It’s Jabba! Quick! Hide me!

HAN staggers to his feet, aided by CHRISTINE. She helps him offstage. Then wanders dreamily back onto the stage, alone.

AMINTA(CHRISTINE)
No thoughts within her head but thoughts of joy. No dreams within her heart, but dreams of love."

PASSARINO
Master?

PHANTOM
(In SOLO’S clothes, masked)
Passarino- go away! For the trap is set and waits for his prey.

You have come here
In pursuit of your deepest urge

In pursuit of that wish which till now
Has been silent
Silent.
I have brought you
That our passions may fuse and merge
In your mind you've already succumbed to me,

dropped all defenses
Completely succumbed to me
Now you are here with me
No second thoughts
You've decided
Decided


RAOUL
(watching with OBI-WAN and C3PO from box 5, shakes his head)
This is SO confusing!

C3PO
I agree, Sir. I am fluent in over 6 million forms of communication, and I believe that musicals are among the most difficult to interpret and understand. At least during the first 3 or 4 viewings.

OBI-WAN
But the lyrics are so clever – and the rhyming – brilliant!

RAOUL
(rising)
I’m not sure what’s happening, but I think I’ll call in the Gendarmes.

OBI-WAN
(Force hand gesture)
You don’t need to call them yet.

RAOUL
(sitting down again)
I don’t need to call them yet.

BACK ONSTAGE. . .

PHANTOM
(approaches CHRISTINE)
Dance?

CHRISTINE
I never dance.

PHANTOM
Well you’ll have to this once. Frankie’s made another bet.

PHANTOM and CHRISTINE dance the Lambada. RAOUL, watching, grows more and more appalled. Finally he’s had enough.

RAOUL
(pointing at PHANTOM)
Gendarmes!! Vite! ArrĂȘtez-le!


PHANTOM
(to CHRISTINE)
Quickly!
(throws his cape around her and nods at VADER on the catwalk, who uses The Force to cause the Chandelier to plunge from the ceiling. PHANTOM shoves a lever with his foot and down they plunge. . .)

CUT TO INT. THE UNDERGROUND PASSAGES OF THE OPERA HOUSE – NIGHT

PHANTOM
(running with CHRISTINE)
You’re a hard act to follow, Christine. You know why you and I get along so well?

CHRISTINE
No.

PHANTOM
We are two of a kind, you and I.

CHRISTINE
(stops running and looks puzzled)
We are nothing alike.

PHANTOM
I don’t think we’re alike, but I do think we’re a pair. Opposite sides of the same coin.
(looks at her, then continues)
You’re laughing at me.

CHRISTINE
No, at the fact that I used to find you charming.

PHANTOM
(moving closer, leaning in)
I am charming.
(he kisses CHRISTINE)

CHRISTINE
(when they finally come up for air, sighs)
You’re right.
(kisses him again)

PHANTOM
I’m always right. Come!
(he grabs her hand and they start running again)

(to be continued - or concluded. . .)

Ack! I can't stop here! Show me the conclusion!

2 comments:

mossflower said...

Drat it! I knew I knew it!
"Dear Frankie" Gerard Butler played the Stranger who was pretending to be the dad. arggggh

Candace said...

You got it!!! :o) I was obviously having waaaay too much fun, LOL!

Christine and Phantom's lines about the 2 sides of the coin are from Tomb Raider II, which I realise not a lot of my readers will have seen. I originally saw TRI cuz it had Daniel Craig, LOL, REALLY enjoyed the Lara Croft character (more than the actual story) and saw TRII cuz of the character. Lo and behold it had this Gerard Butler my sis ad told me about from Dear Frankie. Sure was convenient for later when I developed a POTO obsession and went on to do the parody. :oP