Sunday, December 18, 2005

Phantom Menace of the Opera, Part the Sixth

INSTALLMENT VI

EXT. OPERA HOUSE – EVENING

PHANTOM, CHRISTINE and DARTH arrive on horseback. MADAME GIRY is waiting impatiently outside.

MADAME GIRY
(sternly)
You were supposed to have her back an hour ago.

PHANTOM
(dismounting and lifting CHRISTINE easily to the ground)
My apologies, Madam. There was a small matter we had to settle first.

VADER
(under his breath)
The weak-minded little fop!

CHRISTINE
He is NOT a fop!

MADAME GIRY
(gently)
Christine, my dear, even you have to admit that he IS a bit of a slave to fashion.

CHRISTINE makes a wry face and sighs.

MADAME GIRY (Cont.)
And that HAIR!

CHRISTINE
I don’t understand. It really works on Obi-Wan. And Anakin – oooh la la!

VADER(still on horseback) turns to face CHRISTINE directly and inclines his head in acknowledgement.

CHRISTINE
(blushing and putting a hand to her mouth)
Oh. . .

PHANTOM
(mutters under his breath incoherently, then to VADER)
Come, we have work to do.
(jumps astride the horse again and they canter off)

INT. OPERA HOUSE - NIGHT

RAOUL
We have all been blind
And yet the answer is staring us in the face
This could be the chance
To ensnare our clever friends.

C3PO
We're listening...

OBI-WAN
Go on.

RAOUL
We shall play their game
Perform the work,
but remember we hold the ace
For if Miss Daae sings
They are certain to attend

OBI-WAN
We are certain the doors are barred.

C3PO
We are certain the Jedi are there.

RAOUL
We are certain they're armed.

RAOUL/OBI-WAN/C3PO
The curtain falls
Their reign will end!

INT. PHANTOM’S LAIR – NIGHT

PHANTOM and VADER are trying out each other’s cloaks for effect, swishing and flourishing them.

PHANTOM
This has a marvellous sweep!

VADER
(reaching down to lift up hem of cape and pointing out areas along the hem to PHANTOM)
There are small weights in the hemline. They add a certain drama to the flare.

PHANTOM
(nodding)
Ahhh, I see, yes! Clever!

VADER
The lining on this is quite impressive. Is it real silk?

PHANTOM
Only the best!Do you mind telling me about--
(motions at his own mask, indicating that he’d like to know about VADER’S mask)

VADER
Ah, yes. It’s a prosthesis, actually. Third and fourth degree burns, so the whole helmet is part of an integrated life-support system which includes hyperbaric oxygen therapy.
You?

PHANTOM
Very impressive. Mine? (snorts disgustedly) Nothing as fascinating as all that. Birth defect. A face even a mother couldn’t love, apparently.

VADER
(shaking his head)
Tragic. My mother was an angel. She died because I wasn’t strong enough to save her.

PHANTOM
And your father?

VADER
I never had one. You?

PHANTOM
(shakes his head curtly)
No.

VADER
So, you and Miss Daae – do you have an understanding?

PHANTOM
Indeed. Though she seems to forget it when that young fop comes around.
I gave her my music . . .
made her song take wing . . .
and now, how she’s repaid me:
denied me and betrayed me . . .

VADER
(bristling)
I, too, have tasted betrayal. Padme betrayed me with Obi-Wan. I believed him to be my friend. But I know he spent time with her while I was on an assignment for the Jedi. I could sense it when I came back. And then she brought him to Mustafar to kill me. And yet, I love her still.

PHANTOM
I shall never properly understand women. What can Christine possibly see in Raoul?

VADER
That contemptible worm! I should have finished him off in the graveyard, but I did not want to upset Miss Daae.

PHANTOM
Women are so easily affected by such things. With the exception of Madame Giry, that is. Oh!
(looks at pocket watch)
She’s going to be very angry if I am late again.

VADER
I shall not stand between you and Miss Daae, but I think I will stay to watch the fun. Perhaps young Raoul will attempt to occupy the same space as my lightsaber blade.
(evil laugh)

PHANTOM
(grins)
Seal my fate tonight
I hate to have to cut the fun short
But the joke's wearing thin
Let the audience in
Let my opera begin!

(to be continued. . .)

Take me to Part VII!

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