Laugh Junkie

I recently realised that I'm a laugh junkie. I mean, I always knew deep down, but now I have a label for my affliction. In celebration of this fact, some Jeff quotes:

No you're not dead, you look, you look great. You're not decomposing or anything...I'm not just saying that

Steve, you know what the sentence of death is don't you? I don't mean the sentence of death like in executions and stuff, I mean the scary one. Just five words Steve. Five little words..."where is this relationship going'?'Those are the words you're going to hear tonight Steve and once those words are out of her mouth, you can't put them back. Not once the cat of commitment's out of the bag of Susan

A torch?! Torches work on dresses?

'You know what's great about skirts? When a woman's wearing a skirt, you know, you know, that somewhere in that room shifting all the time is the V.A.A. The Visual Access Angle. A clear line of sight right to base camp. You just have to switch chairs right, or maybe move your head a bit, or accidentally fall on the floor and there'll be nothing but clear air between intimate sighting number one...Sorry I was just thinking about skirts

Naked? Can I speak to her? "Hi Jane, it's Jeff"...thanks

Amazing, gorgeous, like Alison from The Red Lion only with more eyes. Amazing eyes, top of the range eyes. You haven't seen them Steve. It's like she's got hundreds!